A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedgirl89
writes:Sorry the explanation is long, but please bear with me and give me opinion! I would greatly appreciate it!! My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years and i go to college and work and he stays home and watches his little sister for his mother, who is a full time worker and single mother. he will be attending college next semester and is taking a break. We have discussed marriage and moving out. He asked me if he could move out with his best friend in 6 months.This first incident may seem it has great detail but i promise it leads to a point i believe is a problem. i feel the more detail i give you the more you have a feeling of what our relationship is really like. My boyfriend cut his hand open. It was the boys night. He had a free night (which was rare) without his mom there and his little sister was with her dad. That was one of my only days off. I let him pick between hanging with me or his friends. He chose to hang with his friends.He went to his friends house and he was gone. my bf called his bud and said he could go in the house, that there was a window that was cracked open that he could open. so he tried pushing up on the window and fell though it!!! Tearing up his hand! He called his mom first, who didn’t answer, and then me. I rushed to him being the first one there, for him to tell me to wait for his uncle to get there. so i followed them to the ER. We waited in the waiting room of the hospital for two hours in which that he talked to his family the whole time!When he was finally called to the back room so he could get stitches i stayed in the waiting room not knowing i could go back there too. his family told me i could and that i should go back there so i did. when i did it was me and him and his dad. His dad left after a few minutes and so we talked. Whenever i spoke to him he didn't really listen but to the first few words, but that night he listened to everyone else. he asked if his dad was going to come back so i said ill go get him but then he said that all he wanted was me.little bit later his mom showed up. I went back to the waiting room while they shoved the numbing needle into his open wound so they could stitch him. his mother stayed with him the whole time. the rest of his family and i took turns going back there to see him. the next time i saw him he acted like he really missed me. the nurse who took care of him and the doc who stitched him joked sayin that my boyfriend was going to milk me to take care of him. which i knew was not going to happen cuz i had a busy work and school schedule; that he would be milking his mom. i stayed with him till 3 in the morning. while the nurse explained all the things we needed to do to take care of him she handed me the guaze, jelly, and other stuff. his mom smiled and was all attentive when the nurse was sayn how to bathe him and how to take care of him even though they said he'd be milking me and handed me all the stuff. this bugged me cuz i knew hed me milking her and she knew that.i walked him out to his truck that his mom was driving. he got mad at me because i wouldn’t kiss him, i don’t do PDAs. He got in the truck and they drove off to the pharmacy then she fed him, bathed him, and did all the taking care of him. i walked from a long ways alone in the parking lot to my car and bawled my eyes out. i wanted to take care of him so bad and was so alone and so stuck doing everything else.since then i have hardly talked to him and havn’t seen him. He never texts or calls me first. Today i finally got to talk a little to him and told him i was excited about next week because i work less and will get to take care of him, after he gets his hand surgery. he said that's when he needs it the least. the night the accident occurred, he admitted to ignoring me sometimes because he doesn't want to fight with me. today while i was on the phone with him for that little amount of time, he said, "Gosh, I wish you would quit texting me," (because i got off work) and then said, "Oh, it's just my brother." while i was on the phone he kept flashing over and talking to family. all together our conversation was probably only 10 min. the night before his friend took him to a movie, and i was totally busy all night and day so we didn’t talk. So we havn’t seen each other since and have hardly talked.so i feel like he's getting sick of me. he used to tell me that I’m his number one that he puts me before everyone, even before his own family. now he's all i have. i don’t have any friends and hardly speak to my family. this experience has shown me that, what i think, that I’m not his number one, that I’m talking to him too much, i need to have my mom be above him, that i need friend time before him even on his rare totally free day. i want to be the one who takes care of him, when he can not do anything because his hands are ruined, not his mom. i want him to milk me not his mom!!!!!!!i feel like I’m dating a mommas boy. He’s always watching his little sister, doing chores around the house, and running errands for his mom. his mom treats him like her husband. then she turns around to me and tells me that if she were me she'd be spending all her free time with him. I’m so sick of feeling like their kid. its so weird feeling like your boyfriend is married to his mom. he even gives her little kisses, listens to all her advice and does everything she tells him to, she pays him, and he even tells her of a time where he has seen her naked!!!! Gosh damn, he might as well be married to her. And lately I have been paying for what time we get out, which is when he’s not home watching his sister. Please tell me your honest opinion and your advice!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!
View related questions:
a break, best friend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2010): yup, you are dating a momma's boy. And llike all momma's boy, he has been coddled by his mom his whole life. He has been spoiled by her and has unrealistic expectations of where he should fit into your world.
You are better off alone than someone who sees you only for what you can add to his life. You need a partner not a spoiled child...
|
