A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:The question I'm needing help with is this: is it okay to NOT go to my girlfriend's son's 18th birthday celebration?Here is the background:I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 10 years and, therefore, have been a part of her two boys' life for about that same amount of time. We are a family - we take out of country trips, short trips, long vacations, whatever. I'm close with her son who will be turning 18 soon (we do things together like motorcycle riding, working on our cars, going to the shooting range, etc.).On the competing side, I am not a big sports fan but I do like the local college football team and have a BIG tradition of going to all six home games each year with my three best friends; we've been doing this for approximately 15 years. In fact, we rent a house in the college town where the university is all year (and split the rent four ways) just so we can tailgate there on the six game days each year. Here's the problem: My girlfriend's son turns 18 this Saturday and his father (who I get along with great) has planned a big celebration for Saturday night and just texted us all about it. Unfortunately, this Saturday is also one of the 6 home games and I already have a ticket and, of course, plans for the day.So my dilemma is this: I don't want to miss a home game, but I also don't want to unnecessarily offend my girlfriend or anybody else in the family. I would really appreciate some objective input if anyone has any. I know games come and go and 18th birthdays don't, but on the other hand I'm present for EVERYTHING when it comes to her kids (birthdays, graduations, communions, whatever - anything and everything) and under the circumstances I'm feeling torn.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 September 2021):
 Good on ya.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2021): Seriously, a game could come before a young man who quite likely sees you as a father figure?! Go to your stepson birthday, because choosing a game over that would be a really shitty thing to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the honest input, everybody. I have told my game day buddies to count me out. You’re right, I already knew the right answer. It’s a frustrating situation for me but that’s because I’ve been feeling selfish about it. Football games come and go but 18th birthdays don’t.
Thanks again.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (23 September 2021):
 Ask yourself what you will regret missing more. This boy is like a son to you. Can you miss ONE football game to attend his special birthday party?
Put yourself in HIS shoes and ask yourself how he will feel if someone so close to him is missing from his party because he has put a football game above him in priority.
I think you already KNOW what you should do. Be an adult and do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2021): You say you are a family with these boys ,so it should be a total no-brainer. Skip the game . Obviously. The 18th birthday is a big ,important ,meaningful event and it will be the only 18th birthday he'll celebrate in his life.Those games,instead- there are six of them every year ! And it has been so for the last 15 years !! That means that so far you've seen 89 of those game, so even if you skip the 90th ,well..frankly I can't see what is there to be so torn about.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 September 2021):
Oh for FFS!!
You go to your GF's son's birthday and miss ONE of your 6 games. It's not rocket science!
You have been part of his life from the age of 8! You can miss ONE game for this kid. I'm sure your friends will understand.
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