A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiancé and I are planning a wedding for February. We are both in her 40s and not sure we ever thought this would happen. My parents offered to pay for the wedding or offer up some thing. Today though I got a different storyMy brother, who is two years younger, also got engaged this year he is marrying a girl who seems to be hiding things no one really likes her. She’s a nurse so I know she makes at least 100,000 a year but she never seems to have any money ????? She does run up a hi Botox bill. Her parents are only going to be able to contribute 5000 to their wedding (including dress) so my parents are having to contribute to my brothers fund so he could have a decent wedding. I’m feeling pretty angry pretty frustrated. I don’t really mind my brother getting something nicer but it upsets me that she’s benefitingEnd it absolutely upsets me that I’m going to have to dip into my own savings for this wedding.I guess the advice I’m asking is how do I deal what do I do to not be angry?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2021): Op here-
Honey pie
You missed the fine print I am the bride!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2021): Are your parents giving you and your brother the same? If so, that's fair, however large or small the contribution. If not, and they are giving you or him a larger amount, then that's not fair in my view (unless they have balanced it out some other way, e.g. with contribution towards house deposit for the one that gets the lower amount). You shouldnt expect any contribution from your family towards your wedding. You should pay for it yourself and if they give you a gift, then great. But it's their choice.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 September 2021):
 Sorry, OP
You are a WHOLE grown-up man who should be able to fund HIS own wedding (with your fiance's help) IF the family can contribute, awesome - if they can't well, hopefully, they can be there on the big day.
I think people today totally MISS the point of a wedding. They seem to think a wedding has to be this over-the-top once-in-a-lifetime party.
I have been to quite a few weddings and the BEST of them were not the expensive showboat ones, but the ones that were ALL about CELEBRATING the love and union between two people.
It doesn't matter if anyone dislikes your SIL. Your parents can CHOOSE the AMOUNT of money they want to contribute to both weddings.
Traditionally, the parents of the BRIDE pay for the wedding. So you getting help from your parents is awesome!
Maybe look at your budget for the wedding and see WHERE you can cut some costs.
The wedding day is ONE day in your life. ONE day in your marriage. IT does not determine how good of a marriage you will have. IT is ONE day. And yes, everyone wants it to be special but special doesn't mean "go broke" special.
Be graceful with whatever contribution your parents can/will afford to give you. Plan accordingly.
Making a wedding a day to remember and and a day of joy doesn't have to cost a fortune.
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