A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This guy (he's 26) and I (I'm 23) have been talking for about 2 years now. Him and his friends call me his "girl", but we've never had "that talk" to say we're exclusive. We've just had this implied strong connection since we met a couple years ago. Anyway, things were good for 2 years.....we hung out a lot, talked multiple times a day.....but he suddenly got REALLY busy.I'm still in school and work only a few hours a week. He has 2 jobs, is studying to get into business school, and trains for fitness challenges. Tonight he told me through a text "Sorry baby, I'm going to be so busy the next couple months at least. Not that I don't want to see you. I really do. I wish I could always see you. I hope you still hang with me." After that, I realized I just can't deal with not being at least anywhere on his priority list. I don't want to seem like I have no life and just waiting around to see what could happen with us. That being said, I obviously need to tell him I don't want it to be like that, so I'm calling it quits with us. I will be SOO sad. I love this guy. This will be one of the hardest things I've had to do.But how do I say this? Am I even doing the right thing? I've never had to do anything like this before. What do I say to him??? It's all because he's too busy, regardless of how much we like each other. Please help :(Thanks so much.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 March 2011):
 If he isn't expecting late night booty calls while being "so busy" I think he IS busy. I also think it's nice to see a guy take his future THAT serious.
Does he expect you to sit by the phone and jump when he calls?
If not, go hang out with friends, live life. If he does... same advice.
A
female
reader, Adelaide's Agony Aunt  +, writes (9 March 2011):
Dear aged 22-25;
You need to suddenly turn into "cool girl" the one he will want to "hang" with and you can do this by:
1. Reminding yourself of all the reasons why you are amazing, unique and special - know who you are and you will have an attractive air about you, the poor me's is not a man magnet.
2. Not say anything to him about breaking up in case that's actually not what he wants to do, he may actually be incredibly busy. Instead reply with something that throws the "are we an item" thing back in his court for clarification by him by saying something like "sure baby I'll wait to hear from you about when you would like us to catch up, in the meantime are you O.k. with me seeing someone else/other people?" This will trigger a response from him that will tell you he considers you to be his property only or is looking to spread the love himself. If he fires back questioning you about you seeing anyone else say no but you were just wondering given his putting you off for a couple of months - keep putting it back on him until he clearly tells you one way or another if you're exclusive or not.
3. If he doesn't want to be exclusive remain cool girl indicating that "it has been great "hanging" with you, I won't bother you while you are really busy, bye baby" and get off the phone.
4. Set about being really busy yourself because he may or may not come to his senses after that. If he does come to his senses still remain cool girl by not jumping at his every suggestion - remember he has put you on hold, make him do the pursuing. At the risk of sounding harsh he will not pursue you if he has lost interest.
Remember generally speaking if someone wants something or someone bad enough they usually take steps to get what they want don't they? It's time he showed you that or you move on to someone else who values you enough to put the effort in - you deserve it.
Good luck, Adelaide's Agony Aunt.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Give the guy a break. He told you he wants to be with you but is too busy. He has his head screwed on right and is trying hard to line up all his dots. Hang in there and schedule some dates with him and see where it goes.
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 You're ending it with the guy you love because he's a little busy? I think that's really shallow if I'm honest. He probably doesn't want to be that busy like he obviously meant in his text. He's trying to get into school and have a good future, is that wrong? And just for a few months? And you can't wait that long. You'll probably spend time with each other a couple of times during those months anyway so I think it's pretty dumb to be throwing it away just 'cause of his schedule!!!I hope this helps.
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