A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing this guy for almost 3 months. I realized we are not more than FWB..cuz we meet always x sex. Last week I went out with a friend of mine, I met a nice guy who asked my number and invited me to lunch...I said not. He asked me if I have a boyfriend..I said not..but I am seeing someone else...I met my FWB two days ago and I told him what happened that night. He asked me If I liked that guy. I said he seems nice and we were talking and we had a good time but that was all. I told him that I realized that I can't have sex with him and then go out with a guy... lunch..coffee..I cant separate one thing of the other...He asked me "so..what do u want?".. And we start to talk about our "relationship"..I know we both are really busy persons plus we live 60 miles apart...anyway..The last thing he said was "I dont really have an answer.."He left next day... after that I felt empty and confussed cuz he seemed sad..I am kind of person that I have sex with one person at the time... But having sex with him makes me feel like I am cheating if I go out with someone...Need some advice. Thanks! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012): Break up with your FWB, don't jeopardize a real relationship for the sake of a mere FWB.
your FWB is only sad cos he won't get easy sex anymore. big deal, he'll find another FWB soon enough I'm sure, he'll be just fine.
FWB arrangements are understood to end anytime, without any explanation owed, and no strings attached, no obligation to continue. That's why it's called FWB rather than a real relationship. If you can't do this, then you shouldn't be doing a FWB arrangement in the first place.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Drop the FWB and start something new with the other guy.
Your FWB thing is not going anywhere .
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Drop the FWB and live life.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 February 2012):
 I am going to have to give you kudos for at least sticking with monogamy.
I think you have to ask yourself what you are doing with your friends with benefits situation. If all you are doing is having sex, you are really cheating yourself of the ability to find true love.
Look at this way, you are eating McDonalds with your FWB. Sure it tastes good, temporarily satisfying and it's convenient. It fills your basic need but it isn't memorable -- and worse it leaves your palate wanting something more. I think you are beginning to realize that you really want the fine dining. Someone who loves you and doesn't see you simply as a sex partner -- but a life partner.
With your fast food lifestyle, you are missing out on that bond. It doesn't mean you can't find it with your FWB partner, but it would appear that he doesn't offer much substance (unless you decide to change the parameters of your relationship).
Ultimately, only you can decide when you have had enough of the easy and convenient and dare to live a little. Sure, you may not like the new food, but at least you had a chance to sample it and are better for it. It'll take some courage to make a change, but ultimately there is no reward in not taking a risk.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (18 February 2012):
 You need to cut the ties with your FWB and try going out with the nice guy you met. It will surely lead to a more steady and interesting relationship in the long run. I sounds like your FWB has no qualms whatsoever about seeing you and having sex with someone else. You are wasting your time with him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Go out with the other guy, the fwb is only concerned that he will loose his free sex most likely. Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Its up to you, but do you want to keep missing out on the chance of a proper relationship purely so you can have just sex with your FWB?
...............................
|
