A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my girlfriend for a couple months and after a while I have decided to break up with her, I just want to know if these are justified reasons for doing so. 1. She consistently talks to her friends about other guys, but keeps it a secret from me. (Although I already told her I found out )2. She neglects me, she pays more attention to her friends (who are guys) than me. For example I wanted her to go with me somewhere, but instead she has decided to go to another guys party. She says he asked her first, but I know for a fact he didn't.3. Many guys like her, and constantly talk crap about me with her, and she doesn't defend me at all.4. She lies to me, not about huge things, but just little stuff5. She never tells me her feelings, as in whenever she is angry, she won't tell me why.6. This is just something that happened. We went to a basketball game together, the whole time she was talking to Another guy on her cell phone via txting. He was trying to tell her something but didn't wanna tell her until I wasn't with her (I think he was trying to tell her he liked her). So I leave, and then I get a text from her that was supposed to go to the other guy that says "he's gone now :)" and so of course I talked to her about it. She didn't even say she was sorry for keeping it all a secret. 7. She flirts with other guys when I'm not around.This isn't even the end of it. I plan to break up with her on the bus. Do you guys think that would be an okay place to break up?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 December 2012):
 You don't need to justify your reasons for wanting to break up. She doesn't have to be a bad girlfriend for you to want to end it, it is enough that you simply do not want to be her boyfriend any longer. It's that easy. So don't list up any reasons when you tell her, or if anyone asks. Just say, you didn't feel that way about her, or that you didn't want to be in a relationship any longer.
You should try to break up with her when you and her are alone, in private. Tell her you need to talk to her. Then tell her you think it's best if you aren't her boyfriend any longer, that you don't feel that way about her any longer. Or, you can tell her you think she flirts too much with other guys, but even if she stops flirting you don't want to be with her, so there is no point in telling her. If you just wanted her to stop the flirting you should tell her, and give her a chance to change. But, that ship has sailed, and now you want to end it. So no point in bringing up the reasons why.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 December 2012):
 NOT the bus. NOT In school. NOT with a group of friends around. you need to be alone with her.
you need to do this outside of school and in a place where she can be alone.
It's better to do it face to face and be as kind as you can be but your reasons are adequate for wanting to end the relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 December 2012):
Not the bus. A cafe, the park, her house, anywhere but the bus. You are right to be dumping her, from what you've written, but always retain an element of decency when ending it with someone. You don't want to get a reputation for being cruel at the final hurdle.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): From what you've written I can't imagine she is going to be too heartbroken from the break up. She doesn't sound like a person that makes you really happy and ultimately all through life a relationship should bring more happiness than anything else.
Breaking up on the bus is not such a good idea, people have nothing less to do other than listen to your conversation and it would be embarrassing for her. Plus you're stuck on it until it stops!!
I have heard some advice about breaking up in a public location, such as a coffee shop, because the other person cannot get too emotional due to the presence of other people. Maybe you should meet her in a busy coffee shop and grab a drink and sit down and tell her in a nice way that you believe she would be happier single right now because of the incident you outlined above and that you would be happier single because when you are with someone you don't want them to be waiting for other guys messages as soon as you're gone.
Definately not the bus though dude!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 December 2012):
 "I plan to break up with her on the bus. Do you guys think that would be an okay place to break up?"
No that is the worst place I can think of break up with someone. Would you want to be emotionally crushed in a very public space where not only are there tons of people around, but you are also trapped with these staring people as well as with the person who just dumped you? What are you planning to do, dump her and sit in silence until your stop?
We can't tell you if you should or shouldn't dump her, if you don't want to be with her/don't trust her, break up. But do it in private, not on the bus! That's a terrible, terrible, terrible place to break up with someone.
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