A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I just pasted my 2nd anniversary with my boyfriend and I have been feeling like I need a change of scenery. I brought this to his attention and he is not ready to go any where. I considered Illinois cause that is where my mom is and the rest of my family. The only things I have going on for me here is college and my relationship with him. He told me he did not see how our relationship would work if I moved that far. I then reconsidered and thought maybe I can just move to another town or city in my state. I am not sure what the right thing is to do here? I want my relationship to work, but I also want my life to take off finally and I keep thinking that if I wait one more year maybe he will be ready to move with me. I am not sure if I should try moving in with him to see if this makes us closer or maybe feel more ready to get out. I know I can't fully change his mind. what would you do? give up you relationship for a career or put the career on hold for a tiny bit to get better balance with the relationship? I have tried staying with him for an entire week and it seems like its pretty okay, but I am not sure if I am entirely happy if I were to move into the place he is living.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 December 2012):
 When a person co-mingles these three items (career, love-life and address) it is usually quite a mine-field of choices.... My opinion?
1. Don't move in together whilest your relationship is as tenuous as your's is.... To extricate oneself from a "live together" arrangement is plenty difficult... and especially so for the lady...
2. Your career is the most important of the three considerations. Addresses and love can be fleeting... but your CAREER... THAT's what you "do" for a living. Make sure that THAT is as close to perfect (for you) before considering the other two areas....
3. Love life; Guys are "a dime a dozen"... and there's a full spectrum... from total jacka$$es, to the greatest guy in the world. Ironically, while you are paying so much attention to your career.... it highly likely that that great guy is going to prove to be "just around the corner."
Good luck....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): why not move to IL, and just try the long-distance relationship thing for awhile. If it feels like it's not working out, then you can always come back again. Or by then your feelings may change and you may not be that interested in staying with him anyway.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 December 2012):
 I'm afraid that he's telling you that he won't move to Illinois with you. Maybe there are reasons for that other than just not wanting to move.
You hope that waiting for another year will change the situation. What if it doesn't?
I think you should make a decision now. Putting the decision off a year is not best.
It is difficult to say what is more important, your career or him, because that is for you to decide. But, also, because they may not need to be complete opposites. You seem to be advancing in your career where you are. Yet you say you want "a change of scenery", so maybe you're bored with the place and it's not just the advancement that you're thinking about.
Think long and hard and make a decision now. I am afraid only you can tell what is more important.
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