A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 10 years, he already has a partner an 2 kids, we have son together and have just brought a house together, even though he still lives at home with his family.I can't stand this double life any more he calls me his wife and says he love me, I'm so confused, I want so much to bring everything into the open, no one knows about his double life what should I do.
View related questions:
lives at home Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Well, both you and he share the responsibilty for where you are now. Not necessarily 50/50 but no matter. Whilst I do understand you may have been living in hope, and now feel mislead, you are still an adult. A cynic might say you are only doing now that you have bought a house. Your son is obviously a factor though and I do understand that.
The choice is yours. Three children and one wife are the innocent ones who have no control in this situation. The outcome is impossible to predict.
I can see 4 possibilities if you're looking for some vision after you've forced it into the open. 1) He chooses his wife 2) He chooses you 3)You both share him openly 4) The resulting betrayal means nobody wants anybody.
Alternatively, you could just decide to finish the relationship with him, seek his financial support for your son, and move on with your life without him.
Good luck, Richard
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 You are going to force him to make a stand and the outcome may not be in your favour.
Can you give up what you have now and walk away from all this?
You need to be prepared for the worst scenario.
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Who would stand to benefit, and who would suffer if this comes out in the open now? You have been content to be a secret relationship until now, so what has made you want to change things?
First thing to do is get a DNA test done to get proof he is the father. That will give you legal standing at least for child support. If you do go public now, this simply will not end well.
Do you have proof of an existing 10 year relationship? Pictures, documents, reciepts and such? See a lawyer just to find out what your rights are.
He is HAPPY just the way he is having two families. He is NOT going to change no matter how much you hope he will. In this whole matter, as much as you have been a victim, you have also been a partner in this, and I think most people will see his other partner (his wife?) as the victim here.
The real victims are those poor 3 kids.
Think hard on this one.
-Frank B Kermit
www.frankadviceforwomen.com
...............................
|
