A
female
age
41-50,
*BM2010
writes:Hi i am divorced and currently dating my first boyfriend. We met a year ago.......he is still married and also says i must give him some time to sort out certain issues then he will file for divorce. He has sorted out some of the issues...now i need to know will he sort out the divorce issue.... He often says he loves me....i sometimes test him by not saying it for a few days just to check if he will say it...and he does... he really looks and sounds sincere and also says there is no intamacy in their relationship....can i believe him....should i give him more time to sort out the divorce and how much time......
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): Please leave him. I just got out of a year and a half relationship with a man and it ended as horribly as you can imagine! I was separated from my husband during the duration of our relationship. During that time this mm didn't want me dating or going out, would constantly tell me he loved me and was just waiting for the "perfect time" he had me beleiving we were meant to be. Wouldn't you know his wife ended up pregnant? After he promised me he wasn't sleeping with her blah blah. Then he even went as far to say he took the longest shower after, I won't go into further detail but it got bad what he said about her. Now, against all things I had ever believed in I decided to tell her, not only about me, but he had cheated on her with her best friend and god knows who or what else. She asked me to go to her house and talk to her but I refused I just wanted her to know the truth regardless if she stAyed I found out what I was dealing with I felt she should. Then this man got a restraining order against me, which in court he looked like an ass bc did no harm to anyone, got dismissed but not without humiliation. I made a huuuuuge mistake, I never thought it would happen to me. But it was worse than I ever imaged. Turn him lose sweetie
A
male
reader, Wiseguy555  +, writes (4 June 2010):
This man has manipulative written all over, he's already keeping his wife occupied while he plans a divorce, and he's already looking for other women. Think of it this way, why would you want to be with a guy that treats his wife like that? If its because you think you're better and he wouldn't hurt you than you're wrong, these type of men know how girls work, they manipulate your mind into thinking that you are some prized possession that they must have...after they have you they will get bored because they have power...power to get almost any woman or at least keep them close by just in case. Find someone else girl.
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A
female
reader, Empressjai  +, writes (3 June 2010):
 You give me no more time...this may be hard to hear but this man is stringing you along. He has no intention of leaving his wife and he is telling you rubbish and lies to keep you hooked. There are plenty of men like this around. But trust me, any man that feeds you a line about divorce, needing time to sort things out is dangling a carrot in front of your face because what you seek from him you will never find. He can tell you anything he wants and it seems like you just blindly believe him without obtaining any evidence or proof.
Furthermore you state you are dating your boyfriend..dating is not what you do with a boyfriend..it is what you do with a stranger to find out if that man is compatible with you for a more exclusive relationship. So clearly he is not your boyfriend he is a married man that you are having an affair with..and you are his mistress or bit on the side.
This man is still having sex with his wife and you and whoever else he chooses to have sex with. It's time to take off the rose coloured glasses and see what is going on. This man doesn't love you and if you want a stronger test of his love ask him to move in with you while he sorts out his divorce. If things are that bad at his home then the sanctuary of your home will be a welcome sight. Love is a feeling not just a word and anyone can tell you they love you if they are not showing it or proving it.
You need to wake up out of your dream world and start dating other men in order to find an available man who is right for you because as long as you choose to attach yourself to this loser you're never going to meet anyone worthy. What i can see is a wonderful woman sitting in prison with the keys on her lap. It's your life and your choices to make.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): No don't believe him. If he really wanted to be with you that is where he would be. Of course he tells you there is no intimacy in their relationship, what do you think he is going to tell you oh I have great sex with my wife?
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (3 June 2010):
 I agree with the other poster, he would have already filed for divorce and been done with it if he really wanted to leave her. Men like him will feed women this lie just so they can have their cake and eat it too. If you still want to be with him in spite of that, tell him you want a break, and don't want to be involved with him at all until he's legally divorced. If he just gives you more excuses, you'll know how he really feels.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 June 2010):
 You're divorced alright...divorced from reality. Don't be a sucker, you are only the poontang on the side. Give him zero time to "sort".
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 June 2010):
Of course not. You're another mistress who has been conned. He won't leave her. Eve.r He was going to, he would have done it by now. End it and move on, before it comes out and you get a reputation.
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