A
female
age
36-40,
*057
writes:It's about 6 month that I am in relationship with my boyfriend. but I think he's cheating on me.I found some text messages from girls saying romantic things and sometimes he answered them the same.And every time I tell him about it, he says it's just part of my job.He's doing some sort of tourism job.And he always say that he loves me.But 2nights ago he was supposed to be in his friend's house, but then i got he was in his house.and the scene showed that he was with a girl.I feel 90% sure that he was with a girl.but he didn't accept it and still say that he wont betray me. I don't want to be a fool.shall i believe him?or believe my feeling?I don't trust him anymore.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): Trust your gut! Our intuition was given to us for a reason. If it is that gut feeling that overwhelms your every minute of the day it is more than like right. I follow my gut when it has told me something was wrong and 99.9% of the time it was right. You deserve more than what he is giving you and if he isn't willing to give it to you, there are more then enough men out there that will.....I promise!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 I have a three tier approach... my head my heart my gut... and two out of three winsmy head tells me that he appears to be cheatingmy heart says NO way he loves memy gut says "he's cheating"2 out of three wins... he's cheating...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): First of all what kind of tourism job requires your boyfriend to send romantic texts to other girls???I would say he has cheated, it seems that he loves you but wants the best of both worlds "he wants his cake AND he wants to eat it at the same time" I would trust my gut instincts, only you know whether his behaviour has changed towards you and if he is distant.
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A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (4 April 2011):
I think he cheated on you.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Hi dear,
Nobody deserves to live life with doubts, specially from the one that you love.
You love & care about your boyfriend & is only fair to expect the same from him.
I've been there & done that. I know the gut feeling. It takes all the energy in you, consume your life until this is solve.
My advice: trust your "GUT FEELING" because most of the time its right!
As per your situation, you don't have concrete proof that he's really cheating, no physical evidence, nothing besides the text. Well, I am sure that he's emotionally cheating on you. This "part of my job" is not true. Also, if he's your boyfriend he shouldn't be flirting with any female at all. Its disrespectfull.
If anyhting is happening, its better to know soon than later. Don't let this progress. Have a serious talk with him. In a civilize matter, tell him what you found out, how you feel & why you feel this way. Tell him that he should be honest with you, because you haven't done anything wrong to push him away. Ask him to be honest about his intensions with this female, what to expect of your relationship. Ask him if he's feelings have change he should at least be honest with you.
Bottom line, you deserve to know the truth! Don't deserve to have this gut feeling, the agony of unknown.. Tell him that you love him, but you're willing to let him go if he chooses to, but its important that you don't get mad & don't pressure him too much.
Hope this help
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2011): Listen to your woman intuition. Usually what we feel deep down inside is true. If you don't trust him anymore then don't continue with the relationship. Trust is important. Talk to him more about it, if he keeps throwing stupid excuses at you then move on.
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