A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been living together now for about three months, and we've been together for about nine months. Since we've moved in together we have only been having sex about once or twice a week and pretty much every time it has been right before we go to bed and when we are drunk. I talked to him about it a few weeks ago and he said that he just doesn't get aroused that often unless he is drinking and that I shouldn't expect him to act like a teenager when he is in his mid twenties. I just took his word for it and let it go, but then the other day I caught him masterbating in the middle of the day. Should I be worried that we have a problem with our sex life? I mean, he told me that he doesn't really get aroused unless he's drunk so why was he masterbating in the middle of the day completely sober? I don't have a problem with masterbation and I know everyone does it, but why would he do it when I'm sitting right in the other room and we don't have sex that often to begin with??
View related questions:
drunk, moved in, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): Hi, thanks to everyone for responding. I'm afraid to say that i am not feeling any better about our situation. I tried to talk to my boyfriend about what happened the other day when i "caught" him, and he just got very upset with me and told me it has nothing to do with me. I find this very hard to believe. I guess i was totally caught off gaurd because i assumed that since he says he doesn't get aroused that often, he wouldn't feel the need to masterbate that often because we could just have sex. he says it's just not the same and that it has nothing to do with his attraction to me or having a problem with our sex life. I took your advice '1perrito' and i hope i'm not being to revealing, but i tried to initiate something this morning without being too aggressive and he did not seem interested at all. i'm feeling very down right now like there has to be a problem with how he feels about having sex with me. I feel like I'm not able to please him no matter how hard I try to initiate...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): I have a similar problem. Me and my boyfriend have lived together for about 1 year. Before we moved in together we had an active sex life, it has now become less and less the longer we have been living together. Its me with the problem as he would love to have sex more but i never want to... I really think that it is because the excitement has gone..we see each other every night and everything is very routine and predictable.Before we moved in things were more spontanous. I think that if you make sure that you both have your own lives apart from the relationship so doing things like seeing friends etc seperately then when you are together things would be better. Its quite depressing being in your twenties but feeling like you have been married for 30 years..
...............................
A
male
reader, 1perrito  +, writes (13 March 2009):
 Yes, we men masturbate. I know that women do not want to hear this, my wife especially.
We have sex atleast once a day. I still masturbate sometimes. Sometimes about other women, but, most of the time, about her. The way I think about it, it just practice before the real thing.
Can't explain, beyond that.
About the drinking and sex, though, I think the best way to get him to appreciate you is to wait until he wakes up in the morning. He might be a little smelly (hung over smell, plus body odor). THEN, give him one hell of a wake-up call. But, don't be prounce on him, though. Remember, his head might be hurting. So take it slow, slow breath to his ears, kisses to the neck, rub your body to him.
"the kiss down there", will work as well.
That will get his attention, plus get your freak on with him.
Hope I don't sound rude, thank you for reading.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): No I dont think you have anything to worry about as far as the sex part goes. After the honeymoon phase is over sex lives have their ups and downs. Its all perfectly natural. No fun for you I would imagine but natural regardless. As far as the masturbation, in my experience guys just like to do it. I had an ex that did it constantly! And we still had an active sex life. There is something dirty or taboo about it that appeals to them. Us too. The drinking though, this I would address quickly. That isnt healthy for your sex life, love life, or any life. I suggest taking a few nights off from the drinking and spend that time getting to know each other intimately again. If he cant do that with you he may have a drinking problem which opens up a whole new can of worms. Good luck to you, let me know how things work out for you.
...............................
|
