A
female
age
41-50,
*yespy17
writes:Do you think it's a serious problem if my boyfriend of two years looks at " nasty" porn , like with women drinking piss while getting f@cked? I don't have a problem with him looking at "regular" porn, but what scares me about this is that it seems to be extra degrading to women? While using his computer, I also saw he visits a blog-pornsite called "how to tame your bitch". It gives all porn related examples of how to dominate.Now, I get that a big part of male fantasy is "being in control", so is this "normal"? I'm freaked out by the piss porn especially. In real life he is kind, calm, loving, but often "too nice", and passive. So should I be freaked or is this "nastier" porn more normal than I thought and doesnt mean he us a ticking timebomb? Thoughts?
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female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (25 January 2009):
Eyespy17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the responses. It has made me feel better, knowing it's more common.
I'm going to have a calm, rational conversation and see how much he lies, and decide where to go from there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): I am on this site because I just kicked out a man that constantly searched sites that had hard core pornography... like women peeing and anything and everything you can imagine that you would clasify twisted or demented. He also had a constant desire to dominate and/or hurt women all the while acting like it was fantasy. Although, he would tell me how he would like to watch me screw another man and tell me how I was the main character in those fantasies. I have been doing a lot of research so I can try to understand his behavior. I have come to the conclusion that he is a sociopath. Look up "Common everyday sociopaths" to see the behaviors of these men and women that prey on the kind hearted. I truly hope I have enlightened the good people that have a heart.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (24 January 2009):
as long as it stays a fantasy and does not become a reality.
there is nothing wrong with him having a little fantasy, cause if anything that is all it is. i'm sure he wouldn't actually want to dominate you, unless you were into all of that. as for the golden shower thing, there are far worse things he could be looking at. such as that horrid film that got sent around social websites, where two girls ate stools!
also i don't think porn is degrading to women at all, cause if it was the women who are in the films wouldn;t do it and women wouldn't watch porn. yes women do watch porn. not as much as guys though.
so i wouldn't worry about it too much. if he starts to ask you to play along with things,etc then maybe just say that you don;t like that sort of thing. if you want to make him feel abit dominating, then just do little things like a blind fold. it's sexy and fun for him and you. plus it's not too scary or dominating. as you can take it off whenever you want. role play too is something you can do, but do a soft version rather then full on S&M. it's up to you. but don;t worry about what he likes to look at. like i said before, it could be far worse.
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A
female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (23 January 2009):
 He does probably think you'd freak out so that's why he's secretive. Maybe you could try to bring it up without mentioning that you snooped and see if he has anything to say just to put your mind at ease. Otherwise just leave it alone unless he tries something you're not comfortable with.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (23 January 2009):
Eyespy17 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for making that point, punkypippi, maybe he is just curious. But there was an awful lot of it "bookmarked". I guess I'd really have to see how often he's watching these pissing videos, but that's such an invasion of privacy and then I become like a mother checking up on him. Ugh. I hate that he's never even told me about any of these " fantasies". He's probably knows I'd think they were somewhat deviant . U can't win.
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A
female
reader, lacexoxo22 +, writes (23 January 2009):
 Yeah I agree, I think he's just curious and that's okay, we all are in our own way. Now I have even experienced the "degrading" part of it, I actually was seeing this guy that wanted me to pee on him and do all sorts of gross things...and well, if your down to try it, then by all means do what you do, but if it's something that disgusts you and your 100% certain thats not your kinda thing, then you have to tell him no and explain that that sorta thing makes you uncomfortable and your not willing to try. But like I said, if all he's doing is looking, then theres no harm in that. Let him be a man, turn the other cheek and don't stress on it. Good luck, hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, PunkyPippi +, writes (23 January 2009):
Not unless he starts trying it on you. People like to explore things, and it may just be a novelty to him (Kind of like "What in the hell are these people doing??"). If he does start to dominate you and you don't like it, you have to tell him.
He's probably just curious, so I wouldn't worry.
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