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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a little problem in that a month ago I went to a ball with my friend, her new boyfriend and some other girls we all knew. The new boyfriend started chatting, more so to me. He got quite friendly and started talking a little about my friend on a personal level (but I told him to be careful what he said). Later in the evening he was dancing with one of the girls in a 'cuddly' position and in the end I dragged her away from him as it was my friend's boyfriend. I also told him to behave but he said 'yes he was flirty but he wouldn't do anything to upset my friend'.Last night I went to her house for a party. Things were fine he made a couple of innuendo comments to me and then later with drink flowing every so often he would keep catching my eye across the table. Later we had a chat like the last time and talked about personal things again. He is a touchy feely guy ie touches your arm but I must admit I didn't really see him do it with the others. We then cleared up and he said 'go and be with her or she will think we are flirting', I looked at him and said 'those are your words not mine, ie I felt we were just being friendly. She fell asleep and me and him just sat in the kitchen talking for 2 hours. I asked him why he liked talking to me and he said the others were boring and I was normal and he could talk to me about anything. We chatted about all sorts of things but he told me that he liked my friend very much and again he said he knew he was flirty but he would never be unfaithful to her.So is he flirt with me in a friendly way or flirting with intent. I want to be friendly with him as he is a nice guy to talk to and he is my friend's boyfriend. Please tell me he is just being friendly as they are going through divorces and I would hate to think he is up to no good.
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female
reader, Aunt Letty  +, writes (1 June 2008):
It sounds like he's a flirty guy with no intent and that you are a protective friend who has put him through his paces. From some of the things you said he said, it sounds almost like he thought you were interested in him and he was saying he wouldn't do anything to hurt your friend. It's now upto your friend as to whether she can handle him being a flirt. Duty done as a friend, the hard part is now standing back and letting them get on with it.
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