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Should I be open about my past or keep quiet?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 April 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2010)
A female Armenia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok I'm in a major dilemma.. I'm getting married to this really wonderful guy and we have been seeing each other for over a year now....

I have been in a relation before this and have kissed my ex boyfriend but I have not revealed this to my fiance scared that I'll lose out on him...

Should I tel him about my past and spoil it all or keep quiet as I have not cheated on him in anyway since it is to do something with my past where he was no way involved

please help.. All my frnz say I need to keep quiet but I'm not sure what to do

Thnx

View related questions: fiance, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010):

You don't NEED to say anything, but there is nothing wrong with discussing some of your past, if that's what you want to do. It is better to be loved for who you are, knowing someone understands you in the context of your past, rather than seeming like you are avoiding saying anything about your past. I'm sure the women replies on this are probably quite ashamed and promiscuous and that is why they seem to think the past is nobodies business but yours. Bet they live alone with cats too!

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A male reader, Dekten Netherlands +, writes (26 April 2010):

So wait, you ONLY kissed your ex boyfriend and nothing more?

Wow.

Please, don't worry about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010):

The past doesn't really matter its the Past worry about your future and you don't have to tell him its not a big deal and no its not cheating because you weren't with him at the time if you tell him and he gets mad over it then he needs to grow up he probably has kissed other girls before you too

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A female reader, rambini United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2010):

rambini agony auntif you kissed your ex boyfriend before you got with your current boyfriend then whats the problem? Everyone has a past, a lot of people have had sex with multiple ex partners before they settle down with someone. i really think you are fretting over nothing, if you want to tell him then tell him, if you dont then dont. it really doesnt matter.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (26 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntYour past belongs to you and no one else. You don't have to share your past with anyone .

If he loves you , he should love everything about you and you cannot change the past. It is an integral part of you that shaped you for what you are today.

Anyway, what you did was just normal and nothing wrong with that.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (26 April 2010):

You haven't cheated, and you don't have to tell him about your past. You don't need to say anything.

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