A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if I should be concerned that the guy I'm dating is still occasionally logging on to the online site we met on. Here's the background:- We've been dating for almost 6 weeks - We live two hours away from each other- He told me he didn't want to date other people on our third date (after about a week and half of dating), I told him I didn't want to either. I know he wasn't just doing this to get sex because we didn't sleep together, he told me he wanted to wait longer because he really liked me and he made sure that we did wait- I've intentionally introduced him to one of my friends, and he's intentionally introduced me to one of his friends- We've spoken on the phone every day since our first date, some days if I call earlier, he'll even call me a second time later in the day, and most of the calls have been initiated by him (all were initiated by him earlier on)- He's been incredibly sweet: asking about my day, complimenting me, asking me about my long term goals/plans and telling me about his, buying me a couple of sweet/thoughtful little gifts, making sure he knows when my birthday and even my dog's birthday are, and even getting something nice for my sister he thought she would like based on something I said (he hasn't met her)- The conversations are great, we always have fun together, and our goals in life seem to be more in line than they have with anyone else I've datedWe haven't seen each other in a week and a half which is really hard, and I'm just feeling sort of off about it. We had talked about seeing each other last weekend but he had a bad cold (which I gave him). I think he was implying he'd come out for the day on Sunday but I may have unintentionally shot that idea down. He was supposed to visit later this week, but now has a dinner meeting with someone coming from out of town for work (given his line of work/position I feel this is legitimate and don't think he would lie to me), we have tickets to an event this weekend with one of my friends so I know I will be seeing him soon.I didn't take my dating profile down right after we had the talk about not dating other people, for some reason I just didn't feel like that's what that conversation entailed, maybe because it was so early. At any rate, either did he, neither of us logged in though, I think he logged in maybe twice throughout the first month, once was very early on. I temporarily deactivated my profile a couple weeks ago because the messages were annoying me and I didn't feel like I wanted to even deal with them because I like this guy. His profile is still up, he has logged in twice in the last week (once later in the evening after I'd been kind of crabby with him on the phone) and then once just today.He's given me zero other signs that he's not interested in something long term and eventually serious with me, in fact he's given me a lot of signs he does want something serious with me long term. I just don't know how concerned I should be about the dating profile still being up and the occasional log ins. My gut instinct is that he's doing nothing but reading messages that are being sent to him. On one hand I think it's really early still, on the other hand I feel like we're exclusive and talk everyday so what's the point of logging on. I'd like advice on how to handle this, my tentative plan is to let it go for another month (or not as long if he brings up another conversation about taking the relationship further, or does something that very clearly indicates a move in that direction) and then bring it up if he hasn't taken it down. Should I be more concerned about this? It's so easy to be blinded and want to believe the best early on, so I'd just like a second opinion. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, asap09marc  +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Chick,this is internet dating not the real world. Dont take a player for his word. Play him back.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 It's only six weeks.
I think you guys went to exclusive awfully fast especially for being 2 hours apart.
FWIW I logged on to a dating website after my bf and I were formally committed but not to look at men... to see who had looked at my profile and stuff...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): make another profile with another name and try to do the same again. Then you'll find if he does this with multiple girls. do you think you are the only one? I don't think so. This is the danger of internet. I'd rather choose a man who has never heard of the internet. I had a same kind of online boyfriend who claimed i was the only one. I chatted to him with two more profiles. he did flirt even then.That way I caught him red handed and dumped him. The truth is that they would flirt with any female when they get a chance. That's the cyber world. Be careful!
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (27 October 2011):
 A second opinion would be dont build your hopes up. Any human being with an interest in only one wouldnt be thinkinf of visiting the site.
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