| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: my girlfriend and i get aong great. she is wonderful. but she never wants to have sex and often refuses my advances. even when i try to rub her or kiss her she does not like it. we have a relationship that is long distance at time due to college. should i be concerned that she never wants sex? even wen a clear oppurtunity presents itself it is 50/50 we will get physical. i am always for it and she is always iffy. i dont understand this. i love her very much and it is not like my only motive is sex but i think that is what she thinks that is all i care about. it pisses me off she doesnt want to be more physical. what should i make of this?
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kiama +, writes (5 January 2007):
hey, from my point of view, right, it may be totally opposite of what your thinking. When my boyfriend went away for a week i changed when he got back! (our sex life was brill) I just didnt fancy sex. And the reason, i thought he may have cheated on me. it was an insecurity that wouldnt go away. And i couldnt bare him to touch me, cos if he had been with someone else, then id definately not want him near me. So i kept pushing him away. As he may have - who knows. Got over it though. Maybe thats how she feels with all this long distance stuff. Also, my boyfriend has a high sex drive, and always makes moves on me, which i get annoyed with, its like give me a break. So him constantly wanting it, makes me not want it. I will say in my head, right, if he can lay off for 2 days, then ill know hes not just with me for sex. But by now hes too horny to do that! lol. It just goes to show there could be many factors for this behaivour of hers, and you really need to chat about it. but dont jump to conclusions and think shes cheating, because she probably isn't.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 January 2007):
 Some people have different sex drives. One thing that can lead to disaster is this, don't think it's because of you. You will begin to resent her. Talk to her and let her know how you feel.
She may never be a sexual as you. The standard in jokes is that men always want sex. While a generalization, it's somewhat accurate. At least, they want it more than women. This is probably most often true. Women need the right guy and men just need the opportunity. Again, this is said in a general sense.
Your lady is young too. While some might go over the top, she's a little slow in this area. Maybe she was taught it was wrong. Just give her time and communicate. This is important. Some people do need a chance to brreak down certain barriers in this area.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): dude, have u considered that while you are apart your girlfriend is getting the attention you crave from another scource? if i were you i would get rid of her, find a girl who is more affectionate and willing to provide what you are missing.
...............................
A
female
reader, jade77830 +, writes (5 January 2007):
 maybe she isn't ready yet. she obviously would feel insecure cos it seems you are putting a little too much pressure on her.
wait for her to be ready and as yuo say u love her so u should kinda be more considerate
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): lol...sometimes in relationships your partner just isn't ready for sex. Even though they do love you and know that they can trust you, it doesn't mean that they are ready. If you truly love your girlfriend and if she isn't ready, then talk to her about it or just wait until you two are married...if you two are married and if she still isn't ready yet then there might be a slight problem but patience and trust does alot
...............................
|
