A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Not sure how to react to finding my fiance using a nude chat twitter feed and need your views please! we've been together 3yrs, living together 6months and have a 3month old baby. He was showing me on his mobile how to use Twitter today. he'd asked me to bring up his contacts list on his mobile, and i pressed something wrong and a Twitter page appeared. I asked if he was on Twitter and he said yes. He then started showing how it works and i noticed he follows 'snapchat nude'. I asked-oh what's that? He replied-just boy's stuff, a guy friend showed it to him. I asked nothing else but checked it myself and it seems to be a site where ppl post nude photos. Now, i know nothing about Twitter but kinda feel uneasy with this. Am I right to? Is this site likely to be just like looking at a porn mag? Or can ppl message each other and chat? I accept many guys use porn, and try not to feel hurt that he is looking at other women's naked bodies, especially as i feel v unattractive post-labour and tired from caring for our amazing baby. So i'd be ok if it's just pics. But if it's chat, nope, that wouldn't be ok as i wouldn't trust him-he was sexting another girl and being sexually flirtacious with 2 others via Facebook messages at the start of our relationship, plus was flirting with an ex via Facebook. He's never actually physically cheated on me. He deleted his Facebook account after a game he played on it got hacked.I guess i'm tired and emotional, and just need advice on my next move in this situation. Thanks:)
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female
reader, Queen_mermaid +, writes (7 June 2013):
You should talk to him as this not going to do your relation any benefit. It will distance you guys. If not now, maybe later on. You will feel uneasy about the fact that he is looking at another woman instead of you. Gradually he might find others sexier than you and this will lead him to cheat you physically
A
female
reader, Lani702 +, writes (7 June 2013):
Oh my gosh, tell him to shut that off right now. Contrary to what he said, it isn't just "boy's stuff" as if it was harmless fun, like talking about sports all night with the guys. This is a site where people post naked pictures of themselves and you can actually talk to them. And what do you think they talk about? The weather? It's live pornography. Put a stop to it right now. You have a child together, for crying out loud. He has a weakness for online sexual “stuff” and it needs to stop, and you need to stop making excuses for him, such as you feel tired and unattractive . . . you've just had his child! He should be making you feel as if you were the most attractive woman in the world, not playing around with naked pictures of people! He needs to grow up, and your "next move" should be to say that you and he are on a big, grown up path now, and at the start of this new relationship, there are certain things that WILL NOT be tolerated. Do it now, unless you want to be unhappy and miserable as it continues on . . . pornography is very harmful to a relationship, I'm telling you. He is in a committed relationship and has no business looking, much less speaking, to other people in a sexual manner.
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