A
female
age
36-40,
*ryder
writes:Hi guys, basically I have been seeing my now ex boyfriend for 8 months, he is the most caring loving honest person ever. I have trust issues due to my past and I accused my boyfriend almost everyday of cheating on me, fancying my friends and even his cousin, he never gave me any reason not to trust him and let me look through his phone and Facebook. He ended up feeling so drained and upset from all of this that he broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying that maybe in the future we could be together but he couldn't live the way he was anymore. (he was crying all the time) I thought he would change his mind and he didn't, he said we could stay friends as he wanted to help me sort out my issues. Yesterday we talked and he told me he went out on the weekend and got really drunk and kissed a girl, he said it was nothing and he is sorry and regrets it but felt I deserved to know the truth. He had asked to try again now I'm getting professional help but I can't help but feel he let me down by kissing someone else soon after we split, that he could move on quickly? My friends think it's a good sign that he was honest even though we are split up but I hate thinking of him with someone else. Please help x
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male
reader, soon567  +, writes (17 August 2011):
my your own business is the slogan. He actually didnt own you an explaination of his personal life. I would walk on this coz he will never gain your trust. Your past is your past so leave it there. You cannot do that, in your eyes, he was a cheater when you two met. You can do and save him a lot of hardship by not getting back together, yet most of us isn't that caring. We want what feels good to each of us and others owe it to us, make us feel good, nevemind if theyre be happy with someone better suited as long as we get what we want.
You know he'll be better off with someone else yet youre willing to give him a life without a loving partner so you can have what you want. You don't trust him so end this before you bring kids into this mess.
Look, if you need to bring others into any relationship end it. You going out and telling people what he done or said will ruin any trust he has in you. How can he confide in a woman that would tell everything. If your friends isn't a licence therpist, than don't make them into one. The day you need to blab out your relationship to other is the day you need to end this, your day has came.
Question is, are you in thisjust for your own happiness or do you concider him as well. If you do than confess and tell him that you have went outside of your relationship and started discussing it with others.
I have no idea why people stay in these relationship when the red flags or so clear. No trust, no relationship.
A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (17 August 2011):
If you think the relationship is worth going forward with (and it seems that it is) then you should try to get past it.
What you have said about the incident gives every indication that it was a one time thing and not bevhaviour likely to continue.
Just ask yourself, do you trust him?
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