A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey ladies have a problem about my sexuality.You see im bisexual and never came out to 'ANYONE' in my whole life (there was no point as my family and friends are all old school as well as very homaphobic so i wouldnt have done myself any good.)I spent my teenage years wishing i was brave enough to ask a girl out and never did, just took the train to brighton and tried to pluck up the courage but nothing became of it.Anyway about 5 years ago i met the love of my life ( a guy) we have been married for a year now and i love him dearly but i made the mistake of coming out to him about my sexuality and now he wont let me go to Brighton by myself or camden or anywhere with out him to be honest, as (again stupidly enough) i made the mistake of admitting to him he is the only man in the world for me and if we ever devorced or something happend to our relationship i would never go out with a man again i would defianley start dateing women.So do you think this was too harsh to say such a thing? do you think it is understandable that although we love eachother to death he doesnt trust me around women anymore.Should i have kept my mout shut? i wish i knew of a website to meet bisexual women who wanted to be completely platonic friends as i would love to speak to other women who are in a similar situation who 'DO- NOT' want to be unfaithful to their partners but who like me settled down with a man and are wandering how their sexuality will now effect their marrege??? There are many bisexual websites around but they are all somehow in some form to do with sex or dating and i love my husband dearly im just looking for some advice from women in the same situation. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (22 August 2011):
Glad I was able to help, would be interested to hear how it turned out and if your husband worked through is trust issues.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Again to the second person that gave their opinion-much appreciated hun,
great to hear from someone in the same situation, yeah i think your right in time im sure his fear will melt.
o and mmmm yes have definatley had one or two day-dreams about him/me suggesting a threeesome lol but think that would only had fuel to the fire haha cheers anyway.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Thankyou i am the one thats uploaded the original question, i appreciate your advice,
i do believe you are right it is definatley because he knows i have never been with a woman before so he must be nervous that i may be curious, he needent worry we are soulmates and there is no chance of me cheating on him, period!
Also many thanks for the web link i will have a look at it.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2011): Hi. I am a bisexual female myself; but engaged to a man. When we first started dating I had a bad habit of checking out women. I just couldnt help it. So I think for that reason he always asked me if I was sure I wanted to be with him and one of his biggest fears was that I would cheat on and or leave him for a woman. I constantly had to reassure him and he also went with me everywhere I went. Not to say i minded really. He just wanted to make sure he was enough for me. It can be threatening for some men when they have a bi gf or wife and they get possessive and jealous. They dont want you to leaue their side. But I dont think you were wrong to come out to him. You cant let it fester. In time his fears will slowly fade and maybe instead of worrying he will suggest a threesome lol at least thats what mine did!
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (17 August 2011):
I don't think it was a mistake for you to come out to your husband, as your husband you should be able to tell him this without fear of it back firing.
I think you need to talk to your husband about this, I also think that you need to talk to him about your relationship, he doesn't seem worried you'll cheat on him with another man so ask him why the same trust isn't extended to you around other women? It could be because you have never been with a women and he is worried you think you are missing out.
Either way you should try to find a way to explain to him that you are happy with him, and that he doesn't need to feel threatened by friendships you will form with other women as nothing sexual will come of it.
Below is a link to a site for you to meet gay women on a purely platonic basis, another option might be gay support groups, all of which can be found on google.
http://www.lesbianfriendspot.com/lfs/friends.html
I know you were hoping for first hand experience in terms of help but I hope this post can be of some use regardless.
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