A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I really need some advice with this...My boyfriend left last week for... well, I don't wanna say "where" he went, but I'll just say that it's basically like he's a concert crewman. That's the only way I can describe it. He goes twice every year to set up this "concert". But he goes to New York in the beginning of the year, and Ohio at the end of the year... now, basically. Before he left we went out to dinner, it was nice, but before we said goodbye for the week, I said, "You'll text me everyday, right? Or call me when you can?" He assured me that he would.But before I tell you the issue I'm having let me give you the first few details that you need to know.First off, our relationship is on thin ice. He claims I'm way too moody, and we both blame it on my birth control, which it very well could be the problem. That, or, he just makes me mad all the time.Second, the sex isn't good anymore... before we could be in bed for 30 minutes TOPS! I'm not complaining. Now he can last for 2 hours! Ouch! So I can't get him off anymore because I have to quit after the second hour. I cannot last that long. It hurts. So, the last 2 times we had sex, he didn't get off. So, basically, I sent him to Ohio with huge unsatisfied sex urges.And the third thing that you should know is that he says ALL THE TIME, that in Ohio, at this "concert", girls try to get in his pants. Everytime. And he's going to be drinking... a lot! He told me that one time he got so drunk he was making out with some girls... that's not too pleasing to hear. And these girls are always either high, or trashed. So I worry, constantly! He's out there, sexually unsatisfied, drunk, and ROOMING with a girl. (Although I think this girl has a boyfriend, because he's there too.)So, here's the problem... he hasn't texted me. He only texted me when he was leaving... Actually, no, I texted him. He only texted me to tell me that he was there. Then that was it. I texted him 2 days later after not hearing from him saying, "Hey, I got some new bras." Knowing he would instantly say something. Nothing. No reply. I mean, he IS busy working... but still. In New York he called me everyday. I don't know what to think. Well, should I be mad at him? I mean, I had fun while he was gone, went out with friends and such... But what should I do?I could tell him I went out with friends every night, or complain about how nasty of a boyfriend his is. Or should I just let it go? Help?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 August 2012):
I think you should sit down whilst he's away, and think about whether he's really the guy for you.
I am often suspicious when someone blames one person in a relationship for everything. There are times when you can pin blame - such as cheating, violence etc. But in your case, it's not exactly a good sign that you're the 'moody one' who has put the whole relationship on thin ice, and that it must be the 'birth control.'. From what you've said here, with him making you mad all the time, I'd say that there are major underlying issues that you haven't spoken about, or that you haven't yet thought about.
His lack of contact isn't a good sign either. I'm not in my girlfriend's pocket, nor she in mine - but we speak once a day at the very least.
Finally, it's a sad man that says to his girlfriend that when he goes to a concert, he gets smashed, makes out with girls - and then goes to that very concert, promising to make contact, only to break that promise.
So...are you sure you want to be with him? Or do you think, like me, that this relationship maybe has gone as far as it can.
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