A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi. im 26, female. done postgrad. I never wanted to get reference/recommendation for any job. because I want a job on my own caliber. but my mother did it (SHE RECOMMENDED MY NAME) last year without asking me to her long lost brother in law who is director of an institution, in which I had applied for a post. thankfully I did not get selected for job. now I am registering for phd to same institution. I don't want him to notice me because I never want any of my relatives to think that I got enrollment due to his reference. am I overreacting? should I register for some other institute?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 August 2017):
 I agree with Auntie Cindy!
It's great that you want to be recognized for YOUR abilities and YOUR effort and work but to worry about what others might or might not think it's going WAY overboard.
I'm pretty sure that people who know you, know that you are a hardworking woman and THAT is why you are doing a Ph.D. No one gets a Ph.D. degree handed to them regardless of who is the director.
And remember this, OP
YOU can not CONTROL what other people think, feel, say or do.
And you can LIVE your life around that others MIGHT think. Your life and your education are about you... not them.
Good luck in your studies!!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 August 2017):
 Yes, you are. You can't spend your life monitoring what your relatives , or any other people, think, and you shoild not even try. You can't make decisions for your life and future just based on what people MIGHT think. What about your future husband ? Let's say that you get engaged with a filthy rich man, ... whom you happen to love dearly, though. Would you refuse marrying him , because some people could think you married for money ?? If you did, - you'd be a fool. YOU know how things really are, and that's what counts.
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