A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We had a fling, we're friends (or at least I thought we were) and recently he stopped texting me, if I ever try to contact him he never replies after the second text. The last time I saw him he seemed a bit weird and I didn't know why. The time we saw each other before that was fine, we were both happy, we had just slept together we talked and joked and it was fine. This isn't someone who I can cut out of my life at all, apart from the fact he knows loads of my family and we have loads of mutual friends, we also work together at something we're both passionate about and will probably be in permanently. I'm pretty sure he lied to me the last time he was around saying he didn't know when he'd be in my town again when he was there at the time (I found this out from one of our friends). Should I just ask him? I was wondering if I should just casually text him asking what's up with him and why haven't we had a conversation in ages. I really want us to be friends. I thought we were getting quite close. I only tried texting him twice this month cos I don't want to seem clingy. Is one more text okay or should I try to resist? He used to text me almost everyday. I have no idea what happened, but I really don't think it would be appropriate for us to be on bad terms, but I also really want to be friends with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): don't text him.. don't call him.. wait for 2/3 days...
then call him.. ask him why he hasn't been returning your txts and answering them.. what's up .. how is it going.. ..
if you can meet him .. somewhere where both of you go - just "accidentally" meet him..
clear the air.. have a talk and if he seems distant ... let him go.. he's not worth groveling to.. trust me.. when he becomes 30 you would wish you didn't do that.. okay take care.
-umm
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): your friendship stopped when you had your fling!
ok..first of all never sleep with a friend..real friends dont sleep together.if you decide to sleep together again, make sure you are clear about what you want.
if you really wanted to be friends..why did you sleep with him?
second, he got your txt the first time. dont send anymore.
let him reply to you, in his own time.
three, stop thinking about your friendship..you have now changed this by sleeping together..if he values what you had before he slept with you..he will be in contact.
you need to give yourself and him space..try to busy yourself with positive activities..learn from the experience...take care of yourself and inner well-being
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A
female
reader, amandang1208  +, writes (26 February 2012):
 OK, if you are into him, please text again. But only once. If he is into you, he will text back. If not, if you value your friendship, let him know that, cut all sexual strings out, and have your friend back. If he is into you he would let you know. Good luck!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2012): Sex messes up most friendships OP, if he's supposed to be your friend then you should just call him and talk to him. But it sounds to me all this worrying and stuff that you actually like him as more.
I can call any of my friends at any reasonable time and ask them anything I want. They're my friends why would I worry about saying the wrong thing? but then again I haven't slept with any of them.
You've changed the rules OP. It sounds to me like he's either gotten his and is done with you, may like you a lot but doesn't want to pursue you, doesn't actually like you and feels bad for crossing that line, your whole friendship may have been based on him wanting to bone you and now he's gotten his prize he's gone, maybe a family member of his died, or he's depressed or something.
You see? There's a million different possible circumstances surrounding this.
If you want to clear the air then you have to talk to him. So phone him and have a chat, ask to meet for coffee or something. If you really want him as friend then act like a friend, are you this afraid with all your friends?
He's the only one who can answer your questions OP, so get him to meet up so you can discuss this. If he keeps blowing you off and stuff then he's not a good friend and he needs to piss off then.
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