A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out with this gent twice. First was a coffee date; good times he was civil we got along well. Mutual attraction so on so forth. Second date went out to dinner. We again got along well. HOWEVER he did mention more then once other girls he had dated and how pretty they were etc and it made me uncomfortable. At one point he even said "oops i shouldn't do that" and he stopped but it irked me.Anyway he went out of town for two weeks (business and pleasure) and finally got back on friday.. We had kept in touch via text VERY causally in the meantime, but nevertheless kept in touch.HIs weekend back his friend came to town to visit (great)So he asked maybe we could all go out for drinks and I could bring a friend. Not my ideal but i wanted to see him so....Saturday comes and my friend backs out. I texted and told him maybe not great idea now but he wanted to see me so said to come. He then asks if he minds him "asking another girl to come" and join us. I got a little annoyed. This is our third date and now its stressful. When I finally meet them the friend is bonkers wasted and having trouble keeping up. MY guy was sober but felt like he had to "watch" his buddy. Then he decides they need to get diner (its 1030) I was only asked to drinks. At this point i excuse myself from the resteraunt....I was just over it. I WAS THE THIRD WHEEL they had to get dinner what was I even there for?MY date was pissed at me but I feel I just was standing up for myself.Am I an asshole?
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male
reader, liddel  +, writes (20 February 2018):
It's been three dates. Either try to keep dating or walk away. At three dates, it doesn't matter.
I'm not sure I understand the dynamics of why he is mad. Is it because you left? Again, it doesn't matter, it's only been three dates.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 February 2018):
 I think you have more check marks in the negative than positive with this guy, so why continue?
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (19 February 2018):
What does it matter? He has a 66.6% hit rate of pissing you off. Why go further-you aren't compatible.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2018): Come on! Apparently the friend's visit was pre-arranged, and most likely unexpected. He did invite you. If he invited another girl; that was so it would be a foursome and his buddy would have somewhat of a date. His buddy was on vacation and sometimes we "over-party" and get a little inebriated when we're partying with a buddy. It's a guy-thing.
You're not his official girlfriend, so inviting the other woman isn't anything to be upset about. If you feel like a third-wheel; it was because you were too busy pouting and being resentful, because he invited another female. Two guys, and two females. I'm sure you made no effort to be friendly with her; because you were too busy being pissed. Too bad for you, you just may have ruined it for yourself being petty.
He took his friend out for a good-time. Not his fault the friend got pissy-drunk. Sh*t happens!
You made the whole ordeal less than fun for yourself by being the "jealous-date." Never-mind the drunk friend.
He wanted you to meet his friends. It's certain you will get advice different from my own; but I think you handled your date poorly. Was he supposed to abandon his friend? It would have been lopsided had he invited the extra female-presence to balance things out. I'm sure that was for the friend's sake anyway.
From guy's point of view, I agree that you should be offended by the friend's drunken behavior. That wasn't your date's fault. The extra girl in the group? There was nothing you had to standup for yourself about. You're not his girlfriend.
I guess there will be no fourth date. If he offended you talking about other girls he dated; then that's your cue to end the connection where it stands.
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