A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my b/f for about 18 months now. We spend weekends together when we can. We are both in our 40s. We never managed intercourse but always satisfied orally. I can't satisfy him orally now and he won't kiss passionately anymore. I worry that it's because he doesn't fancy me and I'm not enough sexually for him.He will do anything for me though and always makes me smile, we love spending time with each other.Should I ask him if I'm the problem why he can't be satisfied? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 I agree with Denise for a couple of reasons. If the problem is him and he isn't quite ready to talk about it, drawing attention to it will embarrass him. Secondly, it sets a bad precedent in any relationship to assume that any time there is a problem that there must be something wrong with you. It demonstrates a lack of confidence in yourself and reduces your negotiating power. If he is the only one suffering then let him speak up. He's a grown man.If YOU'RE not enjoying sexual activity anymore then that's different, by all means say something. Be matter of fact and whatever you do keep it brief. Whenever you say something that might be seen as critical about a topic that is usually sensitive best keep it short and get straight to the point.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 NO! You should NOT ask him that! Look, if he has a problem, then let HIM bring it up! That's his responsibility. Until he does - and unless YOU'RE not satisfied, leave well enough alone!
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