A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm not sure where to start as this is a huge story, I will try to keep this as short and informative as possible.I'm here because I struggle to vocalise my emotions with those closest to me.I'm 27 years old I was with my ex for 9 years (16-25) we broke up just over a year ago. This is girl is the girl of my dreams she's sexy motivated super intelligent and wouldn't be out of place on a comedy stage. Not only does she posses all of these qualities but she's a great girlfriend too, we never had trust issues, we both continued throughout our relationship to maintain friendships and enjoy our respective girls and boys holidays. She is the type of person who would go without so someone else could go with. Her friends adore her as much as me. She was/is my best friend I trust her,too this day, with anything. I want to make this clear I never ever fell out of love with her to this day no girl has ever come close! I never cheated on her but I got to 25 and decided I wanted to be single. Sadly, I broke up with her. it wasn't like we grew apart which hurt us both even more. She was so mature when we broke up she said I should enjoy my life and if it was meant to be we'd bump into each other again later in life. She asked me one favour and that was not to contact her during the initial faxes (phases) (sic) of the break up. I didn't contact her for 6 months. Because we'd been together since school we share a friendship group. She works for a huge international company and took the opportunity to move to Australia.She's still single and has just moved back to London I was at her home coming party and we got talking again it felt like nothing has changed we got on so well. Her friend told me she still loves me and never moved on but needed to get away. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her now I'd do anything to make her happy. How can I heal old wounds. Should I ask her on a date?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2017): Yes
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 Ask her on a date, but remember the girl you dated from age 16 to 25 is gone, and the woman who stands in her place has since lived a vast array of experiences including working and living in a different country.
If you do ask her out and she says yes don't go expecting it to be just like it was before, there could be some issues around trust and she is likely to be cautious in case you decide you made a mistake AGAIN.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 June 2017):
 What is different now than when you broke up with her? Did you just need "to be single" for a while? If you had been together from the age of 16, then neither of you will have been in any other proper relationships. Did you feel you were missing out? Have you now realized that you are not missing out after all? That you were just lucky enough to find the right lady for you at an early age?
Of course you HAVE to at least try to get back with this lady if you truly feel you still love her and actually want to settle down with her. She COULD refuse to get involved with you again if she fears you will do the same thing to her again. You may have to work to rebuild her trust in you so be sure this is what you really want. Sometimes we have to lose someone or something before we realize what we had.
If you don't ask her, you will never know and you will always wonder "what if". Go for it. I wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (28 June 2017):
Why not? Just be prepared for the fact that she might say no and respect her wishes if she does turn you down.
But are you SURE you want to spend the rest of your life with her? You don't want to do the same thing to her TWICE.
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A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (28 June 2017):
 The only thing you can do is ask her .If she is ok with taking you back don't make the same mistake again .
If she is not you will have to deal with that , and move on
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A
male
reader, Phil052 +, writes (28 June 2017):
 Thanks for sharing your story. She sounds like a wonderful girl, and if your friends can be believed, she still loves you.I can understand why you made the decision to split two years ago. You had been together since you were very young and I hazard a guess that your curiosity got the better of you. After all, the world is full of beautiful girls. you don't mention whether you have had other girlfriends in the last two years, but I'm taking another guess that if you have, you are now realising that no-one can measure up to your ex-girlfriend.you made a mistake, but there could still be an opportunity for you both. you need to talk to her. Tell her why you split up (be honest), tell her that you still love her, and see how she feels. I don't think taking her on a 'date' is the right way forward. I think more like suggesting it would be good to talk and meeting up for a coffee, or a walk in the park. Somewhere you can both be honest with each other without it being a 'date'. I wish you well, as life is about making mistakes, and sometimes there is an opportunity to learn from them and recover a situation. This may be one of them, but you need to talk to her first.
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