A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 14 years. In the beginning my husband was in jail and I cheated on him right after we were married. I did tell him because he asked. He knew about my infedelity early and before we had children. We stayed together and I have been faithful since. He always brings up the past. Now he has made a comment that he doesn't think a BJ by another is cheating. He is on the road working and that statement makes me think he is getting BJ's. I feel sick about it, and do not know how to handle this. Part of me wants to pack up and leave, but I have children and this would affect them so negatively. Please provide me with words of wisdom. Should I allow this to happen or throw in the towel and start all over? I am angry, hurt, sick and depressed!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): at times we never know wot we doing!!
sometimes we know wot we r doing is wrong and cudnt resist still....so to fight our own guilt we give ourself an excuse blaming others saying this is bcoz u r faulty!
hopefully u got my words!
first enquire ur husband about it straight and direct!
talk to him bcoz many times communication gaps creates the mess in a smooth relnship too!!!...many times we think we understood the silence but actually we interpret it wrongly!
so once ur sure of his stuffs,u sit quiet and relaxed....be prepared for any answer!...may b u get no answer even!....but be patient n enquire it wisely!...once u know , mit b he wants his head clean of his own guilt so he brings up ur past timingly!
if u want continue u need to be very very patient and relaxed...tho its toughest!!....
it can also be tht ur cheating him has made an impact on him so he wants u to feel same...
it can b anything ,just u hav to inquire wot it is and gain the trust again!!!
know one thing....getting into any relationship is easy ,staying it on for a life time....not an easy task....its riding against wind!
things breaks easy but made with many efforts....try sort it out if not for u both, then for the sake of ur kids!!!
good luck
A
male
reader, gigolojone  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Before packing your bags and walking out of your marital home,please talk to him about it,try to get him to tell you the truth and if it is true he has been getting head from someone else other than his wife,then you can decide the next course of action.
If he confirms your suspicions,try to find out the reason why he is acting the way he is doing and if there is still love between the two of your,for the sake of your kids,see a a marriage counselor.
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A
male
reader, Oceano +, writes (7 September 2010):
 That is ridiculous that your husband says that a BJ from someone else isn't an act of cheating. I'm sure he wouldn't be too happy if you gave another guy a BJ, but afterall it's not cheating right? I don't think you should allow that to happen, but I think you should try to talking about it. If he is getting bj's from other people, and continues to, then I think you should end the relationship. You deserve more respect than that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): The way it sounds to me is he basically told you that's what he's been doing on the road. Though before getting carried away and accusing, its best to confront him about it. Tell him that comment was way to suspicious and you think he's getting it elsewhere. If he's lying, you'll probably know it. If he comes clean, the next move is yours. You can either talk it out or you can simply get yourself out. No matter what the situation--cheating is just unacceptable. There is no excuse or justification. Perhaps he's going through a rough spot in his life which needs worked out. After talking this through, whether it be on your own or in counseling, you both should decide what you really want. Does he realize what he's doing is wrong and want to stop it? Do you want to forgive and move on with him? The choice is yours, just please be sure to talk it out, get all sides of the story before making your move. Good luck and stay strong.
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