A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what to do. My boyfriend's mum has sent me a friend request on facebook, and i dont know whether to add her or not. We get on pretty well, but i had a look at her profile without confirming the friend request, and she sometimes writes embarassing things on her page...like rude things, such as jokes with a double meaning . Also, me and my boyfriend have been on and off, and sometimes, when he has broke up with me, he has changed his status from " in a relationship " to " single ", and i'm not sure that i'd want his mum to keep seeing the status changes, if we break up again, although, she would see them anyway as she is also on his friend list. And, sometimes i like to keep my facebook page private to certain people. i know i could change some privacy settings, but, for example, if you want to hide certain wall posts, it ends up hiding your entire wall, and i wouldnt want to hide the whole wall. it's just that me and my boyfriend, or me and my friends, might end up saying some things that i might not want her to see, although, my boyfriend doesnt comment on my page very often, but my friends do. Has anyone else ever had this problem, and what did you do ?. If me and my boyfriend ever brokee up permantently, i would feel bad having to remove her from my list. Or, i could keep her there, but i'm not sure if there would be any point.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): If my mom sent my boyfriend a request on facebook, I would ask him to decline. I know that it's not the case with all parents but my mom just likes to snoop. It has nothing to do with being friends. She has nothing better to do than sit on her computer all day and sift through pictures and comments and even click through to friends she's never met. . . I know this because my mom asks me about it. "Where did your friend go wearing that short skirt?" "Why did he post that as his status 3 months ago?" on and on. It's annoying.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 If you don't accept her she'll most likely be extremely offended. There's really no harm in it. Plus you can change privacy setting immediately. I doubt she'll know if you block your wall and stuff. Since she's a friend of your bf's as well, there's no need to worry about status changes. There's no harm in adding her. This is a really silly thing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Facebook, to accept or to ignore, that is the question.
My mother in law added me, and let's just say she saw some pictures of me scantily clad going to clubs or Halloween parties, that I had forgot to take down, also my cursing rants for a status. Not the image of me I want her to see, right? Well, she hasn't mentioned anything about it, so I figure it's my past life, I've changed since then. No big deal. My point is regardless of what you say or do on Facebook it doesn't entirely reflect who you are, that's just your thoughts at the moment or what you want to vent about..A lot of the times we don't say before we speak. Your boyfriend's mother already has her opinion about you, it's not going to change from what she sees on Facebook. Now, we all know Facebook isn't private, so if you want to keep certain comments between you and your friends then utilize your inbox.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (15 October 2010):
Leave it pending until someone says something. In all likelyhood, nobody will.
And if you and your boyfriend grow as a couple, and stop arguing etc, you can then accept her then.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): My mother in law is on my Facebook. As long as you don't post anything bad about her son or your relationship, you will be fine. My mother in law blikes the regular updates/pictures of my daughter which she wouldnt see if I'd turned her request down.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 October 2010):
Catch 22 - if you do, she can see your posts, you can see hers and all that.
- If you don't, she will probably take it very personally, which would be a shame as you do seem to get on well.
The lesser of the evils would be to accept her as a friend. It sounds like she might be trying to reach out to you as a friend for her son's sake. Just be careful what you write on your posts.
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