A
female
age
30-35,
*egan92
writes:My boyfriend I have been together for almost 2 years. 4 months ago I gave birth to his son and not long after that I found out he had been seeing someone for a year. But he said nothing was going on and she said the same, though people have said they acted as though they were in a relationship and the texts he sent her were just like the ones he use to send me at the beginning of our relationship. Anyways, I need some help with getting over what he did because he wants to be a family but it's so hard because we are fighting so much and he dosent make me feel good about myself and my after pregnancy body... I don't know whether to leave him or to stay. There is no trust and I don't know how to say goodbye if I decide to leave him... Help:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): 2 years is a long time and it must be agony for you deciding whether to leave or stay.From what you have said this guy doesnt sound worthy of you. Whether anything happened or not with this other person, it sounds like the intention was there because he was sending promiscuious text messages. If you do leave him, you may be a single parent for a while until you meet someone else, but try not to stay with him for the sake of the child, it does more harm than good. Also if you are feeling under confident about your body after giving birth and he is making you feel worse you shouldent stay with him. He may walk over you and think its ok to cheat on you. You are better than that,tell him how you feel and if things dont get better then leave. If you are scared about ways to say goodbye and cant bear the idea of saying goodbye to his face, allthough it sounds bad i would say talk to him over the phone or send him a letter. Its not as good as doing it face to face but more dignified than doing it by text or e - mail. Hope this helps x x
A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 It wouldn't be fair to your baby to grow up without his biological father, but if that's getting you down, he's not supportive at all, he's making you feel bad about yourself and your body, you don't need to sacrifice yourself for him. He also has no excuse for cheating on you. This is probably the most raging proof of disrespect, not to say lack of affection or love. When you love someone, you love them even with their after-pregnancy physical flaws (round belly, stretch marks) because they're the mother of your child.
Once a cheater, always a cheater, so if you forgive him this time for the sake of your baby, he will think that you accept being treated with no respect, so you build a bad image of yourself in front of him. You give him the message "I'm inferior to you and no other man will ever want me & my other man's baby, so do whatever you want, you can always come back to me and treat me badly".
Women are difficult to handle when pregnant or/and after, so he should at least give you security, that he wouldn't go for someone else. This is the REAL challenge in a relationship: to remain together after your baby is born - he sees a fat woman who doesn't attracts him anymore, taking care of a baby, ignoring his (sexual) needs. It's obvious that in most cases they look for love somewhere else. They're too selfish, so instead of helping you get over it and become intimate like "the old times" again, they're too lazy to take trouble, so they look for "it" somewhere else.
There are so many separated couples with babies, so... hopefully you find someone to love you. Things happen in life, and they happen to "us".
Best wishes!
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A
female
reader, Indie23 +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Obviously this relationship isn't working if you can't trust him and he's not making you feel good.
I know people think having a mum and dad together equals a happy family but if your parents are unhappy it's hard for a child to see how a good relationship works.
My advice is to tell your boyfriend how you feel and if you guys can't work through your issues with communication then maybe it's time to think about saying goodbye.
The best way to break it off with him is tell him how you feel. Say you can't trust him and your relationship just isn't making you happy anymore.
I hope you can work through this and come up with a solution that makes you and your baby happy.
Indie.
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