A
male
age
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anonymous
writes:Hi there,I'm a Christian and seem to be have trouble in relationships. I seem to end up getting tricked and cheated on all the time. I'm honest and truthful, but seem to get tricked and played. I feel like I put a lot of effort and get little in return.I know a lot of people don't believe in God and going on the theory of evolution and survival of this fittest wonder should I abandon all my morals. That way I can get some self esteem back like by sleeping with someones wife or something like that.What do you guys think?
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female
reader, Sassister  +, writes (28 October 2007):
Just how much self-esteem do you think you will gain in cheating and using other people for what you think is your own benefit? Do your morals mean so little to you? If you think you are in a dark spot now, if you follow through with this behavior, you are risking what self-esteem you have left and you also risk a living hell on earth with guilt feelings and depression. What you are really contemplating is not solace, but revenge.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): Yeah
The different between a Christian and non, is mainly they don't pop a lie in when it suits.
Morals definately originate from religion. If you trace your ancestry back you will find someone who went to church regular. The offspring takes on these value but they may get watered down.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): Just because someone isn't a Christian does not mean they have no or little morals - you seem to suggest in your email that if you abandon your faith/morals, then you will be able to do whatever you like. There are plenty of people out there with extremely strong morals but who do not believe in God. The tone of your email suggests that you put far too much emphasis on your religion when it comes to relationships. The two are, to a large part, separate issues. You say you have been played and tricked in the past, then this is because you have been unfortunate in the partners you have chosen to spend your life with. We all experience pain and cheating in life, but we must look inside ourselves at some point to find out whether the reason lies within us. I don't mean to sounds harsh (really I don't) but your letter sounds like you are angry - perhaps your pain is recent - and it is completely understandable for you to be hurting if someone has hurt you. But you will meet someone decent - just be patient and your time will come. Best of luck XX
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A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (27 October 2007):
 hi.
do not give up your morals or your faith, in the trying times of daily life why would you want to give all this up, for all you now god could be testing your faith right now, if it is a test of faith then it would not be a bright idea.
In life you must have something to believe in, your faith must have given you hope and carried you through desperate times, you should not give this up because other people of today do not agree with what you are, I think you should reconsider and ask god for his help on this matter, I think that you are mixing with the wrong type of people , you should keep your involvement with people of you faith. who know and understand you, they will not let you down, and will always be there for you.
hope this will help you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): No. Abandoning your morals won't make you feel better. It will probably give you remorsefulness and feelings of ineptness if you're acting so as to just imitate other people's actions, who seem to do them profitability. The way you put it, it's a challenge to your consciousness and sense of fairness. You really would like to act morally wrong because you've not achieved the desired outcomes up to now? How will sleeping with somebody else's wife and being an active part in ruining a marriage, make you feel good? That you've been tricked, we all are at some moments. But tricking others will not make disappear your having been tricked, you already know, you're only just aiming doing so to the category you dislike, and this could bring you to hatrid to your person, and what a vicious road! The solution is to be more [selective] and not go in denial, as some do, ostracising themselves from everything. The confidence you should seek in your being, not in your relations with others. Others are not the path to your confidence, only read "dependancy." Depend only on you. Remind yourself of your capabilities and your achievements, anchor in a healthy state of mind of no regrets and don't despair. Also it seems to me you're trying to [lie] to yourself this strategy of copying the vilain is a solution. No. Many of us may not be satisfied with life's shapes and forms, but unless it is something that hurts/discomforts other people, we should stick to our colours. "Be yourself, no one else will." I've known people who've faced storms and thunders in their lives and they've found shelter in helping others, not in bitterness or revenge. Wish you peace.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (27 October 2007):
 So what you're saying is being a Christian is just a tile? You'd be willing to compromise your morals because of the acts of others? I look at the behaviors you're talking about as challenges. In the Bible it states the fact that during this life we will be confronted with many challenges, some of which may seem big, we're not judged on the challenge its self, but how we handle the challenges we face.I carry many of the same beliefs as you, that's why I chose to live my lie single, and no more dating. At least my morals aren't changed because of the behavior of others.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007): No, No, No - don't abandon your morals and faith. It wasn't God who cheated on you or the husband of any potential sleeping partner!You can only have control over yourself and not others, so why would you want to change your beleifs and faith on the actions of sinners?
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