A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My current boyfriend and I have been together on and off for 4 years as of yesterday. I broke up with him a few months ago because we were in college and I wanted to pursue other things. School finished and summer started. One day he called out of the blue and we've been together since. However, during the time we were apart he had sex on mulitple occasions with someone else. It was one girl but I'm having trouble getting it out of my head. I too did things with other men, but not sex. I think of sex as something that should be between two people who love each other. Any way, I now don't know what to do about that whole situation. I told him I didn't want him talking to her but he and her have been texting back and forth, even the day before our anniversary. I've tried explaining how much it bothers me that he still talks to her, but he insists that they are just friends. However, I had had a problem with him talking and hanging out with her so frequently when he was in school. he did the same thing, assured me that he wasn't attracted to her and that they were just friends. A month, later they were having sex. He attributes that to the fact that I hurt him severely and that he was lonely. However, he's not lonely anymore and I don't want him talking to her at all. I'm terrified that he'll go back to school in the fall and leave me for her. Please help me and tell me how to handle the situation. Should I tell him to stop all form of communication with her and terminate their friendship? And what do I do if he doesn't want to do that? Any help or advice would be really helpful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I suggest you forget about this guy. Move on.
Find somebody who will value and respect your feelings.
Somebody that you can trust and that will not be messing around, hopping in and out of bed with other girls for silly reasons.
Open your eyes, this guy is not good for you!
Vow, start going out with friends, you will be a much happier person without this selfish guy!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, tf123 +, writes (11 June 2008):
Sounds like he's got a friends w/benefits there. I wouldn't like him talking w/her either because it hasn't been that long since their last encounter. You guys have been on and off for four years and it doesn't sound like you two have been really serious. Is he ready to be serious w/you or is he just w/you until school starts again? You need to talk to him and find out how serious he wants to be w/you and until he proves to you that he's in in for the long-term,you shouldn't be serious w/him either. And, unfortunately, people do have sex when there's no love involved, that's why there's so many STD's..so you also have to find out if this girl is "clean" and make sure your bf doesn't have an STD. Good Luck!
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