A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Someone please help me. I feel so messed up. Early 2007 marked the time when my life begun to turn upside down. I went from being a innocent 17 year old who hadnt even kissed a guy or had a bf, to being a 18 year old in an emotionally, mentally, and sometimes sexually abusive relationship. This lasted for about 9 months. During that time I had the added pressure of my university studies and a major car accident which sent me into some sort of depression I think. My self esteem was effected so badly. 2008 was supposed to be a new year, a postive one, where I was going to turn my life around. I started off in Jan feeling a bit better about myself, yet this was because I met a new guy, who made me forget about my past experiences of 2007. I had hope that life would be better, but it never got better. He was sexually abusive to me all the time and emotionally as well. For me, the worst time with that bf was when he was tryign to force himself on me and my vision all went blury, I went dizzy and although I was laying down on his bed, I felt liek I was falling and falling. My body was shaking so badly and he didnt notice. I started to vomit, which was the only thing that stoped him. I hoenstly thought I wouldnt fall into the same trap again of an abusive relationship, but the way in which he abused me, his 'tactics' were different to my first bf who i had in 2007, so I fell for his justifications. I am not in that relationship anymore, yet I have nightmares all the time about being pressured and forced into sexual things I never wanted to do. I feel so bad about myself because I wasnt treated with respect.I just dont know how to cope anymore. I cry all the time. I am 19 years old by the way now. I dont know what to do apart from stay away from guys until I work this all out. But I dont know how to work it out, i feel hopeless. Please help.
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female
reader, M!  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 I'm so sorry about what your going through. I kinda went through the same thing a while back. So i understand how you feel. My advice to you is pay attention to only you. Don't rely on other guys to help make you feel better. All you need right now is you. I know this sounds a little weird, but you have to love yourself before you allow any one else in. I had to learn that and it really made a big difference. Right now it may feel like nothing will ever get better. But dont worry, it definitly will. You wont feel like this the rest of your life. So keep looking forward. And look at the positives in every situataion.
if you need to talk more you can send me a message on here. :)
everything is going to be okay.
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (11 June 2008):
 I think the best way to put this behind you would be to talk to a professional.
You need to talk to somebody, it will help. I had a friend who talked to me about her abusive past, and the nightmares that she was still having about it. She admitted that she felt better after talking to me and that she should have done it sooner (she kept everything for herself for more than 4 years).
I felt better after talking about my past as well. Will the nightmares go away? Didn't go away for me, nor her anyway... but they will become less and less frequent over time.
It's something, that I believe, will eat you out if you don't talk it out.
Please give me your opinion on it. What do you think?
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