A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 4 years, in the main its been great, travelled the world together, have lots of fun and hang out all the time. Then out of the blue she said she needed space. We are both at college far away for away from each other, but during the holidays we have are inseperable, and make an effort to visit each other every few week. It has been this way all through the relationship and we have worked hard to make it work. Yet now she feels there is too much pressure on us when we do finally meet and she feels she needs her space and broke my heart by saying we needed to split. She told me this after a fight whilst visiting her at college. Yet after this we still shared the same bed, cuddled and acted normal. She says she still wants us to be able to do this and be the best friends we are. Im confused, does she perhaps want me as her boyfriend in the future, or is she just trying her best not to hurt my feelings?She still calls and texts me but maybe not to the same extent as before. This girl is the love of my life and id be lost without her but do you think her behaviour indicates shes not totally convinced that she wants to end it, or should I just stop kidding myself?
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female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (29 September 2009):
 Ok, after four years of together, she owes you a lot better explanation than just "I need more space." I hate it whenever I read that someone says that to their long-term partner. It's sickening. After four years, let's get real, if this was going anywhere with you, she should need LESS space, a lot less space. You deserve a lot more explanation than that. You need details. "Too much pressure on us?" Give me a break. What she's REALLY trying to say is that she's not ready to give it her all with you. And if after four years, this is what you have with her, then you never really had anything real to begin with. If you want to keep hanging on to this relationship to see what she'll do next, go ahead and stay a while longer. But as a girl, I have to tell you that for a man to hear "I need space" from his partner after 4 years, is not a sign of serious intentions toward him. It is a sign of quite the opposite. You will have your heart broken.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 September 2009):
I think she's trying to not hurt you. If you can face up to it, let this one fly and find a girl who does want to be with you. It'll take time to heal, but you will. Keep busy and meet other people. Don't wait around for her. Lots of luck.
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A
male
reader, fellini1973 +, writes (29 September 2009):
im sorry to hear about your predicament. Your g/f seems like she may need some space. Take it at face value pal. Im sorry to say that maybe she fancies another man or would like to explore her options as far as other men are concerned. Your best best is to just give her some time and space. Maybe you can get yourself another girlfriend & see how she reacts...after she doesnt really seem to want a relationship anymore! Your young & have a whole life ahead of you. College relationships hardly never work anyways! Try this....stp calling her. Stop seing her...Maybe she get a taste of her own medicine aand come crawling back. Who knows, maybe shell see what shes missing! Good luck! Peace!
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