A
female
age
30-35,
*mjc59
writes:So this month has been my worst month ever, boyfriend cheated on me and everything. I took him back we had a long conversation and I told him that it will be a long time for me to trust him and I continue to ask him to keep 100 with me all the time. But after all the long conversation and everything, he seem to go back to his old ways I ask my brother and befriend for advice and they told me I was being paranoid. But he didn't call me for 5 day's and if I did from him is either I went to his job or called and he kept telling me he will call. I know he have alot going on right now, but it seem like one phone call will kill him. But last night I had called his job and I ask him so you forgot about me? and his response was: no i didn't I have to go back to work and I will call, in my mind I was like whatever. But he actually did call surprise me, but I had a headache so I never answer the phone. Right now I have no idea what to do, I want it to work, But once again it's the "I" it should be "WE". He said he miss me and that he was sorry and he want to work on it, but I don't want to get hurt anymore.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (29 September 2009):
 I think the best way to stop hurting is to let this relationship go.
He's broken your trust and he is supposed to work to earn your trust again. He appears a bit busy for that right now (for whatever reason).
You said wanted to forgive him and move forward, but I don't think that is possible for anyone to fully do after one conversation, no matter how long it is. It takes actions from the other person to cement that forgiveness.
I know it hurts and this isn't what you wanted to hear. I am sorry for you. This is a difficult time.
The good news is, you will be fine. If you take steps to look after yourself and leave him aside to sort himself out while you heal, you will be fine even sooner. The better news is, the power is yours to end the hurting.
You have a lot to think about. Good luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 September 2009):
The question really is can you forgive him and trust him. If the answer is no, then end it.
You've already said he's slipped into his old way, which really doesn't sound encouraging.
I think you deserve better, but if you do want to make it work, he has to prove he won't hurt you. That means starting again really.
Think carefully about this relationship. You're still young and there are other guys out there.
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