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male
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*aggy
writes: I have known this gorgous girl for many years and I think the next step is the great idea, but she is really popular at school and I think of myself as ugly. I don't think this is just a crush, I really really like her and I feel she might want the same. I don't know what to do about it as it may ruin our friendship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Why are you letting your own skewed perception of self interfere with you getting what you want? Just go for it babe . Take the plunge. Honestly, worst case scenario-she rejects you maintaining that your friendship is important and that she is not interested in you. Best case scenario- You get the girl you want. (Do the potential gains outweigh the potential losses comparatively? Is the promise of getting her more compelling than the fear of rejection?) The fact of the matter is most girls won't even consider a guy if he isn't forward enough to approach her. If you decide to never act on your feelings, in all probability, you will spend a lot of time mulling over the "what ifs."
So, if you legitimately believe your emotions are genuine than just do it. And if she shoots you down-Take it like a man.
She's not the only girl in the world (there will be others who make you feel equally if not more insecure and unsure of yourself.)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2005): Lots of smarmy advice that starts with" you're not ugly" is just plain dishonest I have learned the hard way that people are vain, but this gets compounded by the fact that they know they'd get attacked if they were honest "it's what's on the inside " cliche posts do more harm than good; now you've got a person that's not just disenfranchised, but now, confused: because now they're being told not to trust their gut. That is more cruel than honest rejection.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): The fact that she hasn't already said hello probably means she isn't interested. Work hard, get a good job, have cosmetic surgery. Then life will start being more fair. Do it now before it's too late.
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reader, pops +, writes (23 August 2005):
Unless you would make Quasimodo scream in horror at the sight of you, your ugliness is in your brain. Get it out. The most erotic part of any person, man or woman, is his smile. Smile. Lots. Especially when you look in mirrors. You are not at all as ugly as you think. then talk to the girl. Ask her out to get an ice cream or coke. One of my best friends is short, and hunched over because of back problems. He has always looked years older than he is. He married a woman 13 years younger than him, who was so attractive that she had been turning head for years. Men could not understand the attraction between the two. I got to know them both, and the attraction was obvious. He was kind, very attentive, and the best lover she had ever had. She doted on him, and helped him climb out of the shell he had wrapped himself up in to avoid teasing from other people because of his physical problems. Although they were actually the same height- she could even wear his shoes- he always looked shorter because he was bent over. she had a great figure, and looked terrific all the time. And, she loved my friend like no other. That can be you.
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A
female
reader, amiee  +, writes (22 August 2005):
 heya hunni,
firstly you need to stop thinking that your ugly the more confident you are the better youy feel and the better you feel the more people respect you.
i know what your thinking ... respect???.... yes respect because someone that respects themselves is respected.
pluss did it ever occur to you that your personality could be and atractive side too? if she does feel the same way she likes you. if she didnt feel the same way then she doesnt like you like that.
but if she is as good as friend as i think then she will understand how u feel. sit her down sometime away from all her other friends because you find teenagers tend to act diffrently around cirtain people (no offence but its the truth)this way it will be easier and a lot less stresfull on both parties. dont get your friend to tell her your feelings women do not respect that they respect you more if you ask them personaly.
good luck remember the key word respect.
amiee xXx
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (22 August 2005):
 You should'nt doubt yourself.The worst possible thing she can say is no and turn you down. But how do you know for sure she will do that.You got the rest of your life to find the perfect oneif she turns you down don't sympathise on yourself. Just act like nothing happened and that you don't really care, she may change her tune if she thinks you dont like her. Whatever you do is your own decision but make sure you do what is the best thing to do.. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (22 August 2005):
 Faggy....I think that you thinking of yourself as ugly is affecting your self esteem...I know it has. If I assume right you don't look like Quasimodo or Frankenstein which means you could not possibly be ugly. Which means you have a chance and seeing that you guys are friends already, it further confirms to me that you are definitely not that ugly. Go for it...subtly...send her flowers...give her chocolates....invite her for lunch ..small things and see what happens. Her reactions will tell you if you are on the right track and will also let you on if she likes you or not...Take care...ana
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