A
male
age
30-35,
*onewolf23
writes:hi i have been with my gf for about 6 years now we have two kids and and im 20 she is going to be 21 in a couple months.Well recently everything is fine she was my first i was her first and up till now i love her so much i dont want to leave her but we have some issue. She said she loves me but feels like she needs to try a new relationship since we have been together so long. She just recently has a crush with a coworker of hers and already want to go and hang out with him. I mean we were suppose to get married she says she still wants to even tho she probably is saying it to be nice. I dont know what to do i need advice i mean i dont want to let her go i dont know how to move on i cant picture her with somebody else it hurts in the inside i cried to her but she says that sometimes she has no emotion what do i do should i keep trying?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 April 2013):
 Why does she want to try a new relationship? Have you two ever sat down and discussed her reasons? It seems to me that she's young and is trapped in between being a responsible mother and partner to you, but at the same time wants to experience being young... and is more than likely jealous of those who aren't tied down and can experience their youth through different relationships.
But from a difference side, you two have shared so many first experiences together. Doing so, and growing together can be an amazing experience, if allowed by both of you. It seems you two are in a rut of making the same mistakes over and over again. This causes her to detach from the relationship itself, and gives reason for her wanting to try someone new.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 April 2013):
 Dear Lonewolf,
you can't make her stay with you if she really does not want to.
What you can do is tell her if she leaves now, then THERE IS NO COMING BACK... but you will have to stick to it if she leaves, because if you let her back after telling her you won't let her back, then she will learn she can pull this "wants to date others" any time and you will forgive her.
Sadly the person that loves the least makes the rules in a relationship. They have less invested and care less... the one who loves more makes the compromises so they can be with the one they love.
Here is the sad news for you... you and your gf have been together since ages 14 which is a VERY YOUNG age. Most of us, grow mature and change a lot in our teens and what we want at 14/15 is not what we want at 20/21 and what we want at 20/21 is not what we want at 30.... trust me on this one.
She has a crush on a work guy and wants to test out the waters. Personally when I've been with someone and it was good, I might find someone else attractive and even have a bit of a crush on them, but I could never imagine stepping out on a partner I loved or asking for a break in a relationship that was going well.
I fear this is the beginning of the end of your relationship and I think our goal has to be how to get you through this as easily as possible. It will hurt tremendously, and you can't go NO CONTACT due to the children.
DO NOT picture her with someone else... that's pouring salt in your wound.
I would tell her point blank that if she wants to be with the co-worker "to hang out" that the co-worker is welcome in your home while you are there with them. OR you can join them at a meal or out and about if you can get a baby sitter.
I WOULD NOT LET HER GO ALONE WITH HIM since you know it's about the sex... and that without permission is cheating.
Personally if she wants to explore a new relationship she needs to end the old one first.... she can't have both (unless you want to add a gf to the mix while she has a bf but that's really what ended my marriage... he was fine with his having a GF but I added a BF and he could not cope)
So, if it was me, as painful as it is, I would tell her she's free to go and explore her new world and ask when she's moving out..... no moving out, no new boyfriends....
...............................
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