A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry if this is confusing.Ok, I Really need some help here. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half and have been very happy but recently we've had some arguments. Earlier today we were talking about how some time ago she began to develop feeling for one of her friends(Guy A) and started liking him as more than just that(I know that he liked her and probably still does). She told me that she was over that and that she wasn't confused anymore. Also, I read on one of her messages(I know, not a good thing that I did) that she was going to "hangout" with one of her guy friends(Guy B)(not the guy I talked about before). I told her that that's basically like going on a date with him since it's both of them spending time alone with just each other but she said that it was no big deal. When I got home I gave her a call but turns out she wasn't home. I logged onto her myspace to see if she was on at a friend's house but she wasn't and then I went to her inbox. She had a message with the guy that she had feeling for(the one I mentioned earlier Guy A) and was going to some local fair and was going to meet up with him, although I don't know if anyone else was going to be with them or if it was just going to be the both of them. This got me pretty upset especially because we had talked about this earlier and she still went and did that. What should I do about this?! I Need help please!
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male
reader, Love-Wisely +, writes (9 November 2010):
 By the 2-year marker in a relationship, people often get extremely curious about the affections of someone new and different.
Arguments are often symptoms of other deeper issues and desires not being met. What your girlfriend is trying to do: explore her options, without ruining your relationship. The only way to do that is lying.
I don't mean to scare, but this happens very frequently in relationships ages 15-30. It's NOT fair to you that she secretly date, and she knows it. But, people are scared to lose someone they love. Now that she was caught lying, in my experience, she will only be more sneaky the next time she feels the urge to date.
I suggest you write her or call, and tell her you know for a fact she wants to "explore being single" right now. Tell her how much that hurts you - so you are letting her go for both your sakes. This shows self respect, but may not be easy.
If you decide to give her another chance, you should take at least 2-weeks off. Concentrate on what makes you happy. Games, buddies you have been ignoring, family, homework. If after that time she is still dating, keep moving on.
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