A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I went out with my boyfriend and a few friends last night. The conversation was pretty light and ended up with one of the guys asking me 'so hang on, if your boyfriend got more muscly and ripped, you'd find him LESS attractive??' which I replied to with an emphatic yes, which led to some general disbelief before my boyfriend goes 'hey, that's why I love her' and everyone laughed. I couldn't help looking at him a lot over the next minute, probably with a shocked expression on my face (my face is always an open book) because he has never said he loved me before. We've only been together for 3 months so it's not like I was expecting it (though the thought had definitely crossed my mind!). So anyway, I have quite a few questions about it, like:Do you think he meant to say it or is it something that sort of slipped out, casually?What should I do now - should I say it back to him or wait maybe for him to say it again when we're alone? Can I reassure him in some way?And finally, do you think love can happen in just 3 months? I know every relationship, and probably also every feeling of love, is different. We've spent a lot of time together in our 3 months as we work in the same office, have the same friends and live a few minutes from each other. I care for him deeply, love spending time with him and miss him when we're apart, but I also think I'm holding something of myself back, like I don't want to get too attached and maybe get hurt. So I don't know if I can now truly say that I love him... Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): It looks like you're reading too much into his words. When he said, "That's why I love her", it's been used millions of times over as an innocent joke, with no deep meaning. However, it doesn't mean he may feel some love for you anyway, inside. Just try not to string the two together, until you hear him say it in a more serious way. I'm a huge joker in real life, and I might have said the same thing in a scenario like that. I don't mean to diminish the possibility that he might genuinely love you, but try not to look for it, since one day he'll straight up tell you when you're alone, if he does, not in front of friends, as a joke. Please have patience, since three months is really early for alot of people to get the nerve up to tell someone they love them.. at least in the serious way. Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Not knowing your boyfriend, it's really hard to say if that was just a witty repartee or if he really meant it.
My suggestion would be to pay attention to his actions, not to his words. Some people are just very casual with words and say things without a depth of feelings to match them . I am not saying that your bf is like that -but just as a general rule, love is shown by what people do and how they treat you, not by what they say.
...............................
|
