A
male
age
41-50,
*uigi Leo
writes:When I lived in Orlando as an intern, I met a girl that I had a relationship with. We had the time of our lives there. I practictly moved in with her a couple of days after we met. A year went by and we had to say good bye to Florida, she went back to Idaho, and I went back to Chicago. It was a bad decision that I made. I had to go back to school and to be away from home for 1 and a half yrs. I did not know what to expect. I was affraid that it would stress me out alot because I had to go to school, I thought it was good for her to go back home to spend some time with her family. During the first few months we called one another and I would tell her that I loved her and she did the same. We still talk. A couple of months ago I had told her that I want her to move here to Chicago, because she had to drop out of school, didn't have money and I wanted to help her find a job and get here set up here, and work things out again. She told me that she didn't want to leave Idaho and said her parents need her right now. I decided to tell her that I was willing to move there after I got my Bash. Next July. She said she didn't want to wait around for me and the other day she told me the bad news. She has been seeing someone for the last 4 mths. I told her why she didn't tell me before because it would hurt me. I had an emotional break down and I also talked to her about it. She was also sad. She says she still has feelings for me but not like when we were together. She also tells me that she will talk to me on the phone and doesn't care what her boy-friend says. She says that she's seeing him right now. Its not a serious relationship. Why does she still call me and have feelings for me? I love her alot and would like to get together with her again. What are my chances? I'm 26 and she will be 23 in Aug. I would take any advise at this point. I don't want to be an old man when I get married and have kids. We talked about getting married and having kids in Florida. I know its now been 7 months since we've been together and I talk to her on an average of 4 times a week. We call each other and talk about everyday stuff. If I can go back to time or had a wish it would be to have her back.
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female
reader, Neera  +, writes (9 July 2008):
I am touched that you love this girl so much. I don't know why I get the feeling that you might not have made your intentions clear. Did you tell her that she's 'the one'? Did you tell her that you are planning a long term relationship? I am wondering if she still has feelings for you and her relationship with her present boyfriend is not serious, why can't she give your relationship another shot? You could just land up in her town and surpise her, see how it goes. She might freak out and stay aloof, but chances are that she might be totally flattered and swept off her feet. Altrnatively, you could give it a little more time - non-serious relationships run out of steam after some time.
If all fails, don't worry, you are so young! You will find someone you love and who loves you, soon enough. It's not worth wasting your youth and life over a failed love relationship. All the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2008): Long distance relationships are very hard and some people can not take the strain. My husband and I dated for 4 years living 3 hours apart only seeing each other on the weekends and we barely made it through so I understand when people don't want to take the strain.
It sounds like you two are really great friends though and that can conquer anything. 4 times a week to talk is really a lot and even though you love her, don't move or have her move unless you both are ready to try a serious relationship. I would give her some time and continue to support her. Either she will fall slowly, madly in love with you to the point she can't take it or you will both realize it won't work out.
While it is a different situation, my husband waited while I dated a real jerk but never said anything bad about him and was always there for me. Had my husband been a jerk while he waited by being rude to my then-current boyfriend or tried to push the then-current boyfriend out of the way, we probably wouldn't be together. Be patient and you will know in time...even if it takes another year or two.
If you can not wait for her to realize how good you are for her, then try finding someone else and if finding someone new is hard for you, then try eharmony. I know three people (now 6) who in the past year have become engaged after meeting someone on eharmony.
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