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She's filled with doubts and insecurities before we've even met, do I stick it out or not?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I started talking to a woman 3 months ago i met over a dating site, after a real struggle she finally decided to talk to me over the phone after 2 months of communication as it was a confidence issue she had, and thought i would not like her accent.

I believe she is genuine but it seems like shes married to every outsider, but i have got to know this girl talking hours per day but shes so scared of the first five minutes of meeting, do we cuddle, kiss, shake hands, all this is running through her head, aparently she is scared of these things and also thinking too far ahead, shes worried about loosing me before we have even met "so she says" she seems really into me but has let me down so much when we try to meet, im giving her so much opportunity as i think it would be awesome if we get together as we have so much in common, each time we arrange meeting she gets 5 mins away then turns around due to her thoughts, should i just forget this girl or stick with it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012):

She sounds as if she is enjoying the attention but has no real plans to meet you. She could be in her 60`s or already with someone. If she is that `shy` then why is she on a dating site? Try asking her to use a webcam instead of meeting. What could be safer than that? If she wont even show herself on a camera then leave her to her games and move on. I think she is someone with a lot of issues, who is stringing you along for an ego boost.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2011):

All sounds a bit suspect to me, I think the excuse for not wanting to talk on the phone is hilarious to be honest.

If it took that long then meeting up could take years..do you really have the time to invest in somebody so insecure (or married,or not who she says etc) ?

Have you seen her over webcam or skype or is that a no no too?

Its up to you how long you are prepared to wait, but if she's on a dating site then she needs to realise thats what its all about - DATING - not stringing men along...

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A female reader, Plain Jane Singapore +, writes (31 December 2011):

Plain Jane agony auntI would rather wait...continue to talk over the phone or whatever channels until she feels confidence for herself or comfortable to meet you...she will eventually open her mouth. Time will tell...Good Luck ~

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2011):

Starlights agony auntShe sounds indecisive and insecure at the moment.

Remember there is only so much you can do for a person, you've tried to meet her and she backs away with excuses.

If you feel you honestly cant hold out for her (ie she is not worth it for you) then forget it. Move on and give yourself the opportunity to meet someone more suitable for you.

If you feel she is worth it (wait) see if she masters some courage.

Goodluck!

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