A
female
age
22-25,
*gisellex
writes:Hey guys, so I'm in a pretty complicated spot here.My best friend and I are very close, but them last week something happened. She's falling head over heels in love with my ex-crush. I have a boyfriend, yes, but she feels like she shouldn't go with him because of me, since she still believes I have a thing for my ex-crush.The truth us, I kinda maybe do, but I'm not so sure. I think it's one of those things that like I feel really hard for him, and it might have gone away, but I feel like I'm still going to have even a small amount of feelings for him, despite my boyfriend.Now, don't get me wrong. I not the type of girl who dates one guy while liking another. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost nine months naw, but I had a crush on the other guy for almost a year before. We're really good friends now, but I feel like either way how this ends, I going to end up losing my friendship with at least my best friend or her crush, or both.What I'm asking is basically for advice, on how to deal with this. I don't have the slightest clue on what I should do, and I would really appreciate it if I got some good advice. (: Thanks, love ;)
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 February 2015):
 Well- but you ARE a girl who dates a boyfriend while she likes ( also ) another : YOU said it yourself ! Ok, maybe you don't still like him as in OmyGod I am crazy about this guy. But you still like him enough for this to be deemed an obstacle by your best friend. She is very nice btw- I don't think ( but correct me if I am wrong ) that girls'code ( "do not date a friend's ex" ) also applies to friends' ex CRUSHES with whom nothing ever happened. So tecnically she could ignore the issue and proceed with your ex-crush , if she has a chance, and nobody could bat a lid. If she does not do just that, it must be because she knows or perceives that that you still like this guy so much ,to become very upset or mad or jealous or whatnot if she and him should get together. In other words, she knows that you'd SUFFER : probably just out of envy / hurt pride- but you'd suffer. And as a good friend she wants to avoid that if she can.
So, forgive me if I think that here the problem is not about the friend- it's about the current boyfriend . Either you feel comfortable enough with the idea of the ex crush and bff together, to make this a non issue and give your friend full ( and heartfelt and believable ) green light .... or you should be generous,leave your current bf and let him free to hopefully meet some girl who's totally available emotionally for him, and only for him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 February 2015):
 If she likes a guy, you USED to (and maybe still a little) crush on, doesn't mean you can call DIBS, after all you didn't DO anything about said crush and... YOU have a BF.
Having a crush on someone doesn't give you exclusive rights or entitlements to THAT guy.
WHAT if.. HE really likes her too? Would you DENY them both? Because you called DIBS by crushing on him first?
Some friends, the BEST of them are forever.
When you say she is falling in love with him, do you mean a CRUSH or is she actually getting to KNOW the guy?
I know you would RATHER she looked elsewhere for love, but I think you are being a little unfair in wanting to "horde" all the good guys. I COULD understand that it would be tough IF you had been dating this guy, but you didn't. You are dating ANOTHER guy.
Sorry, that is how I see it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2015): "I'm not the type of girl who dates one guy while having feelings for another".... But you are and you do.
I think you should be single because it's not fair to your boyfriend or you.
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