A
male
age
30-35,
*loomyDoom
writes:My wife has very poor taste in friends. They do not treat her like a friend at all. They spread rumors and try to undermine anything she does, like telling her boss she shouldn't get a promotion. I try to sit idly by until I just can't stand it anymore and I try to explain why the way they treat her is unacceptable but she never does anything about it. I once told one of her friends off and she was angry with me for days. I just don't know how to get her to understand that people who spread rumors and keep her from work promotions are not friends? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, GloomyDoom +, writes (16 February 2015):
GloomyDoom is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers. I hadn't thought of it that way. She does have issues with acceptance because she was adopted and because of the family she was from. We are speaking about counseling but things are getting better. I had it out with the two people mainly mistreating her and so they are gone now. She is upset with me now but at least says she understands why.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2015): Your wife is still in high-school mode, and needs approval from the female pecking-order. She's not an Alpha-female.
She thinks they'll treat her better, if she's nice and submissive. They pretend to be her friend to her face; but undermine her behind her back. They gang-up and intimidate her in subtle ways, knowing she wants their acceptance and to be included. She still bows to peer-pressure. Time and experience will remedy her blindness to their tactics. Women naturally see through each other. She knows exactly what's going on. She's too timid to take a stance just yet.
If she's in your age-group between 22-25; she's got to learn through the "school of hard-knocks." The women aren't keeping her from promotions; her lack of leadership-skills is doing it.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (15 February 2015):
i can understand your concern with your wife and her so- called friends. First of all if a boss cant make decision for himself/herself regards then he/she is not fit to be a boss.At this stage would you consider talking your wife into going to a counsellor-mabe she might listen to the counsellor and be able to sort things out.Best luck.NORA B.
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