A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem.I really, really, -REALLY- like this girl. I've known her for over a year, and we both admit we'd be great for each other. I've never felt any kind of close connection to anyone like I do with her. The only person who comes close is her sister, who's also a friend.But...she met someone she likes more. Alot more. She says he's her soul mate.Which is a really weird thing to say. Because, they don't really even know each other. They know each others' names and bump into each other rarely. The whole reason she thinks he's her soul mate is because he glances at her sometimes and it makes her think he's perfect, like there's a spark just there from that.What should I do? I'm sure many of you know how God awful painful it is when the person you love the most in the world decides to say "Oh, I don't want to give you the idea, cause I like someone else, he's my soulmate" or something along those lines...it breaks my heart...Practically makes me feel like I want to die... this is horrible to me.Any advice?
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Look dude, if the only other girl that you know that would be of interest to you is her sister, then THAT is your real problem. You need to start making lots of new friends, instead of staying at home and waiting for her. This leads to being desperate, and that is one of the most unattractive things for women. It turns them off when you are too willing, as there is no way for her to feel special if you have no other options to chose her over.
-Frank B Kermit
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYep, she's going after him. She tried to get her sister to go out with me, since she knows I like her too, but, her sister won't, either. Says she just wants to be friends.
So, now they're trying to set me up with some friend of theirs I don't know or care about. Sigh. Why do things always have to go so badly...
Life sucks horribly.
Thanks for trying to help, everyone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell...looks like she's going to pursue him over me...I'm so sad...I can only hope that something breaks them apart...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know many other girls. Maybe her sister, but that's a serious can of worms that I don't want to open. It seems like something that could seriously damage my goal. I suppose I could use to meet more people, but I wouldn't really know where to begin with that.
I don't know how good being sexual would help me, though, Frank. As said, she's Muslim, so things that go against her own views will probably not help (Sex before marriage, drinking, etc).
Still no idea if she's mad at that guy or not yet, don't know. She hasn't mentioned him, even when I ask discretely.
With any luck, though, he'll do something that'll help her see that life isn't perfect enough for you to just meet your soul mate because he looks at you. She does believe in that fairy tale and movie love though. I've been alive and hurt enough to know that's all crap, but I like to hear it from other people, too, it helps me think that there's a good chance it won't work for them. It gives me hope.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (7 January 2008):
First, whatever you do, do NOT become her therapist, and NEVER listen to her talk about her problems with you. That will end any chance of you dating her in the future.
Go out with other girls. She needs to see you as a desired and sexual male, and the only way to do that is to have her see you being dated by other women.
Do both of the above, and she will start to chase you.
-Frank B Kermit
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOP here.
Well, it's been hard to get a hold of her since I asked you folks.
Apparently something happened, and she's been feeling bad since yesterday, not wanting to talk to anyone. Haven't seen her today at all.
However, her IM name has been changed to say that Men Suck, F Them. Which I don't know what that could mean. Maybe he rejected her already or proved he's a jerk. I can only really hope that's true, but I don't like when she's sad. Even less when I don't know what's going on.
I'll update as developments happen, and still taking suggestions, answers, and comments on any part of this gladly.
I've seen too many girls hurt by their "soul mates" to really believe that they just exist. Trust me, some bad stuff's happened to girls I've known in the past.
If it helps, she's a Muslim Arab and I'm just a regular 'ol white guy relatively unreligious. That's never been a problem though, it's just an interesting note.
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A
male
reader, Dangly  +, writes (6 January 2008):
i know how it feel buddy! exactly the same thing happened to me, exactly the same. It happened a couple of months ago, and now im basically completely over her. I would say just go with the flow and dont set yourself completely on this girl, as if its meant to work out, and your her soulmate, you'll end up together. I know its so painful, but it subsides. Go out with your mates and have a gd time, you'll soon find someone else you like, or be over her, and guess who will probably ask to see you the day it happens? thats right, the girl you loved, its sods law. But my advice is just think about something else, and enjoy your life, its your life and you can make it as happy and cheerful as you want. No girl has to make you feel that bad. You are better than her. If its meant to happen it will happen. You only live once, so make the most of it. Hope it all works out. You will be happy dont worry
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female
reader, LouLee +, writes (6 January 2008):
 She cannot tell if someone's her soulmate just because she thinks he's perfect and feels theres a 'spark' there when he looks at her, you start to think someone's your soulmate when you've been with eachother for a very long time (usually)..I know you feel heartbroken and like you want to die but please don't do anything stupid, she's not worth it. Think about it, you're 19-21, a whole life ahead of you, i'm not going to say try to move on 'caus i know it's alot easier said than done. Time is the only thing that can help you. take care x
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A
female
reader, AJ jess ^..^ +, writes (6 January 2008):
 hun if you really like this girl then you wanna get in there quick and tell her you really like her and you love her, tell her you think shes really special and she means a lot to you, on the other hand if you really think that she likes this other guy who she hardly knows then you might want to step away slightly and just let her go otherwise you mite get badly heartbroken, its up to you xoxoxo message me if you want anymore help
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