A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a 20 yr old for over a year and I'm 31 yrs old. We recently broke up but still talk. My question is she says she loves me as a person and says she would date me at a later time when I was ready. What does that mean? Also she says she is keeping an open ear for me if I ever need to talk. I'm stumped.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Gosh, a classic example of a man thinking he has lots in common with a 20 year old - she's still very young and you are probably like a mill stone around her neck. She wants to have fun, and do things that a 20 year old woman wants to do - not be shackled by a 30 something guy who somewhere along the line thinks it is OK to date a 20 year old - with whom he probably has nothing in common with except, let me guess, sex. Where did you meet - outside the college gates??? I've worked with 20 year old girls and boy they are young, I mean really young. I'd say to you "grow up yourself Peter Pan"!!!
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 It means she has no intentions of dating you again, but wants to keep you hooked on her because of the attention you give her and the resources you offer her (your help, your gifts, your money, favors she can ask of you).
If she was really interested in dating you at all, she would never have broken up with you.
She is an ex-boyfriend collector. Do not continue giving this woman attention. Cut contact and find someone else to put your energy towards.
You are her Emotional Cookie Man, not her lover.
-Frank Kermit
author, Stop Being Her Emotional Cookie Man
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Opps my mistake.. please disregard my advice, the other aunts are right....I thought this was a case of older woman and younger man..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): Hey I'm 20 years old. What it means is that shes very young and doesn't want to be settled at her age. You are at the age where you want to get married, have children probably and she is not ready for that. Find a woman nearer your own age.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 August 2010):
It means that somewhere, there is a younger guy or more that she wants to have fun with. Then, when she's been around and had her fun, she might come back to you because you're Mr Safe. She's not worth your hassle. Find a woman who knows what she wants from life.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (7 August 2010):
 It means she's going to "have her fun" and keep her eyes out for a better option, with you as a safety in case it doesn't work out. Unfortunately, this will probably involve sleeping around a bit while she is still young. You'd be better off cutting all contact and finding a new girl. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (7 August 2010):
Got a similar post that has come in.. please take a look at it.. us aunts advised the older woman that young men need time and freedom to grow... maybe someone has said the same thing to her.
Sorry, I'm still trying to find that post for you to look at... it seems to have disappeared.
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (7 August 2010):
 At worst, it means she already has ideas of who she wants to date after she breaks it off with you, yet wants to be on good terms with you just in case her new relationship doesnt work out so she can keep you on the side.
At best, it means just what she said, maybe there are some aspects of you that she just doesnt like that she thinks it would be easier for you to change without her around. I'd seriously doubt it, but its still a possibility.
Either way, i wouldnt spend much more time pursuing this girl simply for the fact that to me it seems like shes already made it clear shes made up her mind.
Nick.
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