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male
,
anonymous
writes: I am a single male of 55 and recently left a place of work where I had a friendship with a lady who is married. She is 40 and asked me out several times, and although I was polite and declined, she was persistent and I have met her a couple of times.She has been with her husband for many years and told me she would like to experience another man. I have not taken this up but get emails from her proposing to meet. She is clearly looking for male attention but I am aprehensive as she is married. I do not want a commitment but I do find her sexy. Any advice would be welcome. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (5 September 2005):
 She's a wild card, my friend. Maybe you'd be able to have a great, sex-only relationship with no strings attached, but maybe one of you would become attached to the other and muck things up nicely.
Aside from that, personally, I would want to know exactly what the situation with the husband was before I got involved with this woman in any regard. How does the husband view their marriage? Is it an open marriage where each is allowed to have sex outside the marriage? Or are you going to put yourself in the position of possibly causing another human being great suffering?
Finally, are there children involved? I really have no problem with what consenting adults do, in or outside of marriage. But if their are minor children in the house, the rules (for me, anyway) change. What if you two did become attached—or even if you didn't, but the affair made her decide to leave her husband? Are you going to be comfortable with any of these scenarios on your conscience?
I think I understand the situation you're laying (no pun intended) out, but I've found that the true no-strings-attached situation is rare. Proceed only with extreme caution.
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (5 September 2005):
If you want to have sex with this lady and she wants to have sex with you all that is stopping you is the fact that she has a husband! Are you the type of man who can have sex without getting emotionally involved? Be honest with yourself. Is she that type of woman? You are tempted and that is obvious, I would say don't do it. But will you listen?
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