A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I met a girl after ending a 10 year relationship. The new girl is much younger than me and she started the flirting and all that sweet stuff. So I really thought she was into me. We've been seeing each other for 8 weeks now. We live far apart but I'm planning on moving closer to her seeing as it would be closer to my work too. Her work keeps her busy and I only see her once during the week for dinner or a drink. Weekends I'll see her either friday or saturday. Never sunday. I really adore her and I'm falling in love with her. She says she's happy with the way things are. So I guess I'm happy too. The problem is... I've never met her friends. There is a friend she always has to go to. Sometimes even when she's with me she'll cut the visit short cause she's made plans with this friend. She never invites me with when she goes to parties with this/these friends . She refers to me as her boyfriend. But yet nobody meets her boyfriend. I've met her mom and sister and we get along great. I spoil her a lot and she has slept over at my place but we've never had sex. Which doesn't bug me. I can wait. The Thing is that its really a problem to get her to spend time with me. and there's always excuses that she must go to this friend or that friend. Almost like she makes time for me when it suits her. Am I being used..? Is it possible that there is someone else? She told me in the beginning that she likes to have space.. But this is ridiculous. I received a call from someone unknown who told me to watch out. She's got more than one boyfriend. I told her about the call and she immediately said she can't be in a relationship seeing as there's to much going on in her life at the moment. I'm confused. Any thoughts from anyone.
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (12 March 2014):
 I suggest removing her from these sites you can see what she's up to. I don't know what she's up to but it's nothing good. She's playing with you. Stay strong and don't give in. she will just hurt you all over again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust an update. Its been more than 2months. I haven't heard a thing from her or her from me.Until 5 days ago I got a little hello message. And 3 days later another one saying she had a dream about me and she apologised in the dream about leaving. I asked her how I responded in the dream... Her answer "like the man I want to marry one day". Wtf???? Why? As I said previously I do have feelings for her and this is just wrong. I tried to ignore it but did ask her the next day how she was doing? She left her job and is living with her mom. (Not far from my place)She hasn't spoken to me again since then. But puts weird profile updates up which I can see. Stuff like "gonna get taken to the movies.. Ssooooo excited" what is she playing at. Regret, loneliness or does she need an "out" of her current situation. Oh man. Hope I'm strong enough this time.
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A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (15 January 2014):
I agree that it doesn't sound like she is 100% devoted to you. However, after only 8 weeks together you probably shouldn't be planning to move closer to her or expecting to be the centre if her world yet either. I don't think she is the one for you, but maybe take things a bit slower the next time and let things develop slowly and naturally.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (15 January 2014):
What are you confused about??
1) She doesn't want to be around you
2) The phone call warning you to stay away
3) She doesn't want a relationship
Sometimes we see trouble coming, but we done move out of the way. Moving is always a good thing.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (15 January 2014):
Yep. Definitely sounds like classic shadiness 101 to me. She was definitely seeing other people. I mean, when you asked her about this call, she ends things? That seems quite clear to me.
Count your blessings it ended sooner rather than later. She's not being/been honest with you.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786 +, writes (15 January 2014):
 Aunty Bim Bim is spot on you are not the only man in her life. This lady appears messed up and you should run the opposite direction.
Don't make any drastic changes for this "relationship" as there is no commitment and unlikely a future.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 January 2014):
 Her response to your anonymous call was quite telling, and you should listen, really listen to the answer she gave you ---
1. she can't be in a relationship
2. she has too much going on at the moment
So there it is from the horse's mouth so to speak, she might refer to you as her boyfriend, but she isn't in a realtionship.
I think the anonymous caller was spot on, and that you are failing to pick up on the signs, she has more than one boyfriend and and playing you like a fiddle.
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