A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my soulmate. I have been in love with her for three years, and two months ago we finally got it together. Everything between us is perfect, I can talk to her about anything.But of course, there's a problem, and it's a biggie: she's a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. She moved out of the city nine months ago to deal with her problems and went to live near her family, near the sea. At that point she was taking cocaine and drinking steadily and getting into a lot of trouble.Now she's completely off the coke, and doesn't drink at all when she's at home. However, she came to stay with me for a couple of weeks, and during that time she got completely legless five times. I manage a bar so I know something about alcoholism, and I know she has it in her blood. (At least she definitely didn't touch any cocaine, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to get so drunk.) She did the usual drunk thing, got abusive and angry. We talked about it afterwards and I made it clear that I wasn't going to stand for that. She thinks that it's too soon for her to come back to live in the city, because it would be too easy for her to fall back into her old ways. I agree completely and will wait for her as long as it takes, but she's getting impatient for us to be together.She's on the right track and I know that. But I also know that it's going to be very, very hard for her to overcome her problems. What can I do, aside from support her? Is it possible for this to work out?
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female
reader, accused  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Anything is possible to work out, if its something that two people wants bad enough... I totally respect the fact that your GF is trying to turn her life around, thats a HUGE step off the bat... As for the time frame on when she will be ok to return to the city is another story.... With all due respect you stated that you managed a bar, right? How is your job going to effect your GF and her alcohol/drug problem? I would think it would be kind of hard to over come something when its right there in your face.. Not saying that you would offer it to her or anything just the principle of the fact. My advice would be for you and her to sit down and talk about everything that could make her fall down from the road she is trying to walk... SUpport is the best thing you can do for her right now, you can't baby sit her or be her mother.... This is something she will have to over come on her own.... Something My Mother told me once and its stuck with me: When I was having my daughter I was TERRIFIED! Everyone told me so many horror stories I was starting to ask to be knocked out during labor/child birth... My mother told me there's certain things in life we have to over come on our own.. She said its like a one person bridge, she can walk with me to the bridge and meet me on the other side! but she can't go with me.... Please keep me posted and best of luck in whatever happens............Accused
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