A
male
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*ani
writes:i've recently broken things off with my girlfriend who i was living with. she is 48 i'm 27. for the past month of our relationship i felt unhappy but only when i wasn't with her. i thought about the future and kids which was a no no for her, think i want them, her jealousy caused a few problems, money was tight and this was a big problem for me. would i be better with someone my own age. i still love her and am hurting so much. this is my first serious relationship. p.s. i posted a letter in feb when we split up over similar reasons.
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male
reader, dtrevino  +, writes (19 April 2008):
mani im 27 ( in may) and my gf is 48 too. We have been together going on five years in jan and she is also my 1st serious relationship. I'm sure that your gf jealousy of younger women and the issues of seeing yourself with her in the future with the fact that you are considering wanting kids put big doubts on where this relationship might be headed. My gf had her tubes tied after having her 6 kids. The oldest which is 29! I myself wonder how am I supposed to plan a life if we can't have kids. Even if we could have kids I wouldn't want them. Why would I want to raise them alone in the long run? The other big issue I'm sure you have is wanting to live a more active lifestyle when she doesn't. You probably realize she doesn't want to go out because she feels awkward around people your age. My woman always wants to stay home because of all the "bitches" making eyes at me when we used to go out. I also feel lonely when we are apart. The problem I have is I work alot and she is a stay at home mom. Things have also gotten alot harder since she had a stroke at the end of last year. Any other person would have hit the door, but love is some crazy shit and will make you make decisions you don't even get. She is starting to recover. She was totally paralyzed on her left side but now she's walking again. If this your 1st love then your like me and it would be confusing on how to split up. No one wants to hurt someone they have loved or be lonely themself. God would not put the feeling in your heart if it wasnt meant to be. Finances should not be a deciding factor on whether or not you should be with her. You know deep down if you want to get back together or not. My woman has real love for me and I do want kids but I'm willing to put things off awhile. I'm still young and I know that being with her makes us both happy. Hang in there man, just pray about it the answers will come. Fate is all about timing..well this itouch is running out of power.. Give more details on your relationship..l8tr
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): I agree age shouldn't make a difference you apparently love her for reasons not linked tn her age. Did you ever think that maybe age is what's a problem for her and she may feel that she is holding you back from things she used to do 20 years ago? Try asking her to share your world when you go out. At least, if she says no she feels counted and not left out. Try talking about compromises to accommodate both of you.
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A
male
reader, mani +, writes (22 June 2006):
mani is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes jealousy was a big problem, i always made her feel special, telling her i love her and how beautiful she was. it never seemed to make any difference. whenever i went out around town drinking with my friends which wasn't very often she would be in bed crying when i got home. i sort of blamed myself for putting her through this.
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A
female
reader, toritor567 +, writes (20 June 2006):
Well you should try to find someone your age or talk to them and trell them how you feel and maybe you want to geet back togeter with them/but seriuosly try to find someone your age!!!Trying is the key
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (19 June 2006):
 The old saying is when money goes out the door...love goes out the window and that can happen to any couple regardless of age.Now your lady friend is a good 20 years older then you,ok no big deal some people might say but you two have already felt the strain and the age difference has probably come into it.I have a wild guess that your partner got jealous because there were younger women around and probably felt insecure because she fears you might run off with a younger model...did you ever reassure her that you wouldn't?...Also you said you wanted children which is understandable but your partner who is 48,wouldn't want to go through pregnancy and bringing up babies when she is more closer to the menopause.For this relationship to work you have got to decide what you really want?...if kids are that important to you then this woman isn't for you...money is tight? well that can be sorted if you work out on how to improve your financial situation and if her jealousys are driving you up the wall then are you making sure that she is feeling special that you adore her? ..all these things is what a woman wants...and thats to feel wanted.Think carefully on what you are prepared to compromise with...that goes for your girlfriend to. Good luck.
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