A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,i'm 20 and there's this girl that i play video games w/ online who is 14. the thing is, i really love her, which to me is an understatement. we've now known each other for 8 months. i really have feelings for her. i think about her all the time! i love her so much that i envision taking a flight to her country (England) in the future. she's smart, funny, affectionate, mature, witty, and just... cool! should i tell her that i love her? i really think i should. please, some insight btw, i'm not the pedophile predator type!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): ok, from experience, been in the same situation. DO NOT GO THERE. I see no reason not to play online games with her but keep conversation at a minimum. No matter what you say or may fell about whether you are a pediphile or not the Law will not see it that way and telling a 14 year old you love her is a good way to get the feds onto this specially since it it over the internet it is seen as a federal offense and the most extreme sentencing will be imposed. and you will be convicted as a sex offender. just talking to her while gameing could be enough to cause you some problems. also the age of consent in most states is 18 no 16 or 17 it is when you are accually seen as an adult
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I would say wait until she is 16 before you do anything mate, that's the age of consent in the UK.
If you like her that much you can wait!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): tell her the truth. and i disagree with all these cruel empty minded comments. whilst age is only a number in most cases this is one of them where age means dust. buddy you seem like a good man. if you love her come clean about it. lies dont get you anywhere,and nor does holding things in.
REMEMBER: you met her on-line so make sure she is someone you do love first...
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A
female
reader, weepingwillow  +, writes (16 September 2009):
Hey sorry but I think that there is no way you should tell this girl that you love her. Firstly she is only 14 and your 20. That mightnt be such a big age gap when shes 18 and your 26 but right now what your proposing is ILLEGAL. If you love her, wait for her. And to be honest, I have a 14 year old baby sister and if I found out that a 20 year old was hitting on her, you can be asured that I wouldnt rest till he was jailed. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 September 2009):
 She is 14 you are 20, that jsut isn't right. She might be a mature 14 year old and you might be a very immature 20 year old but it still doesn't make it right.
Be her friend. You can't really be anything else to her.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): As much as you say you aren't, you sound like an online stalker. I go out with someone who has guys "fall" for her a lot over online games etc. and all it does is ruin a good friendship by making things awkward.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe's not a guy b/c i've talked to her. she's a girl... a lovely one
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A
female
reader, #1 Advisor +, writes (15 September 2009):
Save youself dont be a fool..if its real love you will wait for her till she is 18..be clean with her and dont dare tell her you love her..you can cause yourself lots of problems..instead treat her like a little sister..and be respectful..if you cant control yourself then let her go..you dont love her enough to control youself and have a good outcome..its for your good and hers..love waits..real love wieghts and has self control..read wut the bible says love is..now thats good advice..Amen
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): HELLO, you're 20, she's 14- while you may not think your a pedophile, if you get involved with a 14 year old odds are really good that it's statatory rape, and you'll end up a convicted sex offender. I'd suggest that unless you like registering your place of residence (with the local police) everytime you move, or needing to stay 1,000 from any place kids could be (schools, parks, movie theaters, malls) then maybe you need to avoid 14 year olds and stick to adults who have the legal ability to consent to sex.
If I was her parent, and she told me you told her you loved her, trust me- the police would be involved.
But since you've only met her online, she's probably a bald 47 year fat guy...
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (15 September 2009):
your delusional dude. You never met her and hey people can be whoever they wanna be online. Quit talking love untill you actually meet this girl and my advice stay away till she gets older.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Honestly hold back on that... I made the mistake by being 14 and getting involved with an older man, now he's still the 'same' and I'm no longer who I was when I was 14... I'm into different things, etc... Things really changed and I've grown out of him I guess you can say which opened doors to other problems.
I'm saying this, for your own well being... just be friends... Or you will get hurt... or she will because you may or may not like how she turns out to be once she's matured.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Have you ever talked to this girl on the phone, or online, or just through video games? Its a really hard situation cause even if you want to go visit her, I think her parents will have a problem with someone as old as you from another country coming to see their 14 year old daughter. Do you know if she has these same feelings for you? Its really tough, as much as she means to you and as much as you love her, it would just be so difficult for you two to work anything out right now. If you tell her you love her, she might start expecting a lot more. She may have never been in love before and it would be extremely difficult for a 14 year old to be in love with someone in another country. I really think you two should try to stay friends for now and start looking at maybe dating someone else. I know it sounds horrible and you probably dont even care about being with anyone else. But just try to stay friends and then as she gets older, if she still cares for you and you two think things might work, then try pursuing something then.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (15 September 2009):
I would watch yourself, ever watch Chris Hanson on Dateline? She's 14 years old, just stop and think before you do anything.
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