A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK, me and my girlfriend been dating for 3 years. The only thing is that no one, not her friends or parents know we are dating. Thats the way she wants it.This situation makes me unhappy and we end up argueing over it. The arguments make her unhappy too.If she told people about us then I wouldnt feel hidden away from them all and I wouldnt be unhappy, then we wouldnt argue and she wouldnt be unhappy.But she now says she wont tell anyone until our relationship improves. But it cant improve while im unhappy and im unhappy because she wont tell anyone!!!Catch 22Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 She feels insecure when there is nothing to bind you together. She is careful about her reputations and thus do not want others to know that she is dating you .
Unless you can give her some form of security like an engagement or a proposal or a commitment, then she will not accede to your request.
Seriously it is just between you two and the world need not have to know.
During courtship , she always have the upper hand unless she loves you more than you love her.
A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 What are her reasons for not telling anyone? Has she ever explained it to you? Is she afraid her parents won't like you, won't approve? This is just plain weird. If she was proud of you, I would think she'd want to show you off. I don't understand her reasoning, and obviously you don't either. I'd have serious doubts about someone who doesn't want anyone to know about their SO. Is she hiding something from you? You really need to get to the bottom of this. Something just isn't right.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (6 March 2010):
She wants you to propose.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 March 2010):
If the relationship improves? This is three years, if it's not good now it never will be. Make a decision about whether you want to be with a woman who hides you away. It doesn't sound like she'll ever say anything.
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