A
male
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*D
writes:I started dating a colleague of mine in late May.She is in different departments, so we don't really affect each other or see each other much.I had asked her out in October of last year, but she was in a relationship.I May 2008, I found out from a common friend that she had broken up. I had also recently exited a 3 month relationship.So, I ask her out and we date for about 2 weeks(5 dates or so).Problem was, I could not get physically intimate with her, despite my efforts. I attempted a full kiss once or twice but she balked.In mid-June we went out and she told me that she is not in a state to date and that she could only date if we took things very slowly.I responded that if things went any slower they would be immobile.Anyway, we separated.I sent her an email a few days later, telling her that I had feelings towards her and maybe we should give this a try.She was out of twon, but responded that she was touched by my words and would like to talk when she came back.She came back but left again and we finally got together about 3 weeks later(late July).Over coffee, I told her that we could give it a try, otherwise I would just bury my feelings for her and move on.She asked I give her a few days to think and she wanted to tell me something(did not specify what). If I agreed, we could move on to a relationship.Very unclear stuff!A few days pass, no call.I call and she says a cousin is visiting from abroad.She then calls me 2 daya later , and says she is out of town.I am disappointed and tell her that I am withdrawing my interest. She sends a text apologising for the situation.I go on vacation.We meet a few days ago(19 august) for a trivial work matter.She comments that I look good, and is clearly mirroring my body language(it was obvious to me, I study body language). We finish the work matter quickly and I ask her why she just didn't end things and tell me to forget her.She says that when she was with me for coffee, she wanted to have a relationship and apologises saying her behavior in the matter is incorrect.I am being playful and teasing.I tell her she is cute and I would like to get together with her, but she has to want it too.I tell her we went on 5 dates and no kiss, she says in her prevous relationship, she kissed after 2 months and that she is not like other women, needs lots of time to get to know someone.I reply that she has known me since October, and that I tried to kiss her twice(three times according to her).She says she feels better about dating. Seemed to want to go out after out meeting but I cut things short.My questionThis is a difficult woman and I have spent parts of the summer trying to connect with her(fruitlessly).Yet, she doesn't cut me loose and now seems more positive and wants to date again.SHould I give it a shot? SHould I just be teasing and playful, after all she knows I like her and I am pretty certain she likes me.How should I go about dating her again?DO I go for the kiss?DO I apply pressure?Thanks for reading and any replies,GD
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male
reader, GD +, writes (22 August 2008):
GD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for reading CuriousbyNature.
This exactly is my problem. I find it difficult to believe that a woman will take things so slowly YET be interested in a man.
To my mind, it seems as if she is still considering whether to have a relationship with me or not and she doesn't seem to be putting much effort into use getting together often.
If she just wanted to take things slow, she would show interest by calling every so often and showing some interest in my life. But as things are, I am the one doing all the work and I feel I am losing my time.
A
female
reader, Curiousbynature  +, writes (21 August 2008):
Some women like to take things VERY slow. But if you know each other she really should feel comfortable enough to take things further. Maybe she doesnt want to lose you as a friend. Im not sure, but when I am into a guy I cant not kiss him. Some people see kissing as a very big deal though. I would say if she is worth it be very patient. The more you push, the more you will turn her off. Dont push by any means. Just be patient and she will come around eventually.
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